The Capturing Goddess
by MinoAcid
Summary: Katsuragi Keiko had never dreamed that pressing the "Reply" button in an email could change her life so drastically... And she was having so much fun playing her games too.
1. You Better Run, Run, Run, Run, Run

**Disclaimer: **I obviously do not own _The World_ _God Only Knows_. Duh.

* * *

><p><strong>Far East District, Hell<strong>

The day was a gloomy one, but that was to be expected. This was hell after all.

Lights flashed and flickered in the dimly lit room as nimble fingers tapped rapidly on the floating panel, which made tiny beeping sounds with every press.

The multiple displays moved about, rotating around the concentrating loner as though they were satellites and this person was their planet.

The lone figure sat on a highly advanced chair which utilized liquid nitrogen to somehow make it float on air. This person, or skeleton is more appropriate, is better known as Docrow Skull, head of the Loose Souls Squad's Far East Division.

Numerous voices and noises blared from the surround speakers covering the room.

"There's another in Hong Kong-"

"The buddy's fate is unknown-"

"We have the souls caught in Europe displayed-"

Docrow knit almost non-existent brows in a mix of dismay and impatience while staring at the screen which was currently showing the data that which was requested from some underlings.

For some reason, the figure 'III%' displayed on-screen elevated this bad mood.

"We've only caught 3%!"

Docrow turned around and looked at some of his lackeys before continuing.

"You better find your buddies, fast!"

The figures which were huddled together bowed and promptly left the premises.

Just as Docrow was turning around to continue working, a loud, high pitched "Sorry" rang through the room.

"Huh?"

Tap-tap-tap-

The rapid footfalls were getting louder, indicating that the source of the ruckus was getting closer.

"Huff, huff, huff," the one who screamed earlier was panting lightly from running. As the figure approached, it was easier for Docrow to see that it was a girl carrying a broom which looked like those witches' brooms one sees in movies, donning a slim-fitting violet dress that barely reached the knees, white kneesocks, wooden clogs, and a pink puffy cloth floating above the shoulders and behind the head, defying gravity.

Docrow let down his force field to accommodate the young girl, and faced her for the sake of politeness.

The girl stopped a few meters in front of the Branch Head, stood straight, and dipped her head to the hip level.

"Excuse me! I'm so sorry for being late!" The young girl, seemingly in her mid-teens, apologized quickly.

"Hmm? What's with the broom, Elsee? How long do you plan on acting like a janitor?" Docrow replied, totally dismissing the issue of tardiness, probably to avoid the paperwork that comes with it.

"Huh? Well, um… It doesn't feel right to just abandon it, and it keeps me calm, too."

_Ugh. What the hell is hell coming to? Enlisting maintenance staff as members of the Loose Souls Squad... _The chief thought.

"I-I'll try my best!" She backed up. "By the way, Chief Docrow, is there really a human who can, uh, allure any man?" She slowly added, probably slightly unsure of the last statement.

"There is, and she calls herself…" Docrow said, with a hint of mystery, but continued in an oddly anticlimactic off-key voice, "**The Capturing Goddess**."

Docrow gave a cough, and pointed a pointer finger, er, bone at Elsee. "There is no better buddy than this one! Begin your mission by locating her."

The young girl gave a very informal salute, smiled. "Yes, chief! Elcea d'rut irma, now departing to suppress runaway spirits!"

As Elsee turned to leave, Docrow added, "Oh, and send me a souvenir from the human world. A Billy Blanks DVD should do it."

"You still plan to lose more weight?"

* * *

><p>O-O<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Maijima High<strong>

There he was, walking down the hallway, his naturally unnatural violet hair waving as if to say hi as he turned his head to me.

_Yuu Tora…_

"Who are you?" He said, revealing a scowl with the tenacity of a thousand snakes.

_So, this is my next target…_

* * *

><p>He abruptly halted and turned to face me.<p>

"What's your problem?"

_Resistance is futile…_

* * *

><p>His face turns beet red as he tries to deny the homemade lunch I was offering him.<p>

"N-no, it's alright… really! Please, just go."

_Fate follows one path…_

* * *

><p>He approaches to greet me while I sit alone on a swing, in the abandoned children's park nobody ever visits beside the school.<p>

"Wh-what a coincidence, meeting you here, eh? Ahahhah-"

_I can see it, the ending!_

* * *

><p>As I walk away, he screams out, "Wait! Please hear me out…"<p>

I turn around, look him in the eye and wait as I hold the umbrella to shield myself from the snowfall.

"I… I-" He hesitates, and I slightly turn as if to leave- "I'm in love with you!"

He then dashes to and hugs me as though I would disintegrate if his grip was to loosen. "So please, don't go… I don't care if you don't love me back, but I can't go on without you."

He then forcefully pushes his lips on mine…

* * *

><p><em>Perfect…<em>

I push my bangs to the side to clear my view and peered into my PFP's screen.

_This capture marks my 10000th conquest. No dating sim can stand against me!_

I nodded to myself and pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

_My own power sends shivers down my spine-!_

I heard a loud tap coming from my desk.

_Ah, Yuri-sensei._

"Enjoying your game, Katsuragi?"

_Pretend you don't notice her…_

"Katsuragi Keiko-chan."

_Tch. No choice, then._

I looked up and to my right, and was greeted by the seductive and oh-so-obviously plastic smile of our homeroom teacher, Nikaido Yuri-sensei.

"What could be more fun than my class?"

_Ah, a question. Then I should answer you correctly, since you're the teacher…  
><em>

I pushed my glasses up again and began to utter my answer.

"I have just compared your lesson with all the games I know. There are 5012 titles more interesting than this lesson, about 15 that are just the same, and only 1 which is more boring."

I promptly reassumed my full attention to the screen of my PFP.

"Hmm. And the title of that one is?"

_Sheesh, you're so pushy._ "Wait a minute, just let me get to the save point."

_Oh wait, that's probably the wrong flag-_

"Out of the room! Now!" she shouted while pointing at the classroom door.

_Or not._ I bowed to her, then obediently left the room while concealing a small smirk.

_Thanks for the free excuse to play games, _sensei_. Oh, wait, I should act all whiny, or she might just pull me back into her class._

I pocketed my PFP and walked down the hallway wearing a fake scowl.

There was some whispering and some sniggering as I passed by, but that was alright, since I was used to it already.

_I am Katsuragi Keiko._

To solidify my sulking act, I started talking. "Why should I be sent out?"

_I am now 17 years old; born on the 6__th__ of June at 11:29:35 AM._

"My games aren't hurting anybody."

_I'm 159 centimeters tall, and weigh 41 kilograms. I'm proficient at Math, Science, Social Arts, Language and Arts._

_My interests? _Boys_. __However…_

"Hey, _Otamegane!_" A male voice called out to me. I turned around and saw that he was running towards me… At a speed my inexperienced eyes would estimate as 100 kph. Of course, since he was running so fast, there was no way he could have hit the brakes to avoid me, and as a result, we were in for a collision with absolutely no hope for evasion.

CRASH-!

I fell, and he hit the wall behind me. As I was getting up, I noticed that I fell on something-

"Uwaah! My PFP!" From my reaction, one could conclude that my PFP was ruined beyond repair. There was a humongous crack through the middle, some loose screws and the home button was popping out.

He's lucky that I bring spares.

"Sorry about that! I ran too fast and couldn't stop on time."

The guy was Takahara Yuma, a student from Class 5-B, which just so happens to be my class too. I'm stuck on cleaning duty partnered with him for the year. Sigh, just my luck.

_When I say guys, I don't mean that kind._

He got up and walked towards me. "Hey, _Otamega_. I'm sorry, but could you clean the roof by yourself today?"

"Huh?"

_The nerve… He mocks me, crashes on me, and asks a favour from me? How uncouth!_

"I mean, unlike you, I'm so busy. I have to prepare for the upcoming meet too."

_So you're saying I'm not busy? _I tried to ignore him instead, but to no avail.

"Cleaning should be left to people with nothing to do, if you know what I mean…"

I turned around, hands on hips, and exclaimed, "Don't screw with me! I absolutely refuse!"

But the only thing left there to listen to me was a broomstick with an "All yours" note tied to it.

* * *

><p><em>Damn it, what an unreasonable guy. <em>I thought as I methodically, meticulously swept the rooftop.

I took a few steps back and plopped down on the bench sitting in the rooftop. Sighing, I looked around. The place wasn't half bad, with herbs and shrubbery growing from soil brought up and tended to by the gardening club.

The sky was clear blue, with white fluffy-looking nimbus clouds moving quickly, pushed by the same rapid winds currently making my hair flutter softly, aimlessly behind me.

Putting the now useless broom against the bench, I pulled my PFP out and stared at the screen which displayed the opening screen of the game I was playing earlier, named _Only Paper Knows, _showcasing the main character, Yuu Rito. Thankfully, the crash from earlier didn't destroy the memory card, so it was all right… I just had to get Takahara to replace it.

_He should learn from guys of the game world! Those handsome and perfect imaginary beings…_

I started playing again.

_I am only attracted to 2-D guys. Reality is just a buggy game!_

"Ding! You've got mail~" said the personal messenger I installed into my PFP.

The screen showed a yellow envelope with a heart with the words '813 MESSAGES' etched in glittery pink cursive.

_Ah, today's entreaties from lost lambs…_

"Good morning, goddess! Previously, I have used your advice to play Akiiro. This time, its sequel Akiiro II…"

"Greetings! (^v^)/ Goddess of conquest, I have always used your site for guidance. Now, I have a question about Goth, Goth Panic…"

"Oh, goddess, I cannot complete games as fast as you can! How do you do…"

"God, please save me…"

With the press of a button, I summoned a QWERTY keypad which popped up from under the PFP's screen.

_Yes, I have no reason to concern myself with the trivial, the absurd, the unreasonable reality…_

My fingers began to move with the agility of a woodpecker pecking wood. Even a blur was barely seen.

Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-

The sound of the carbine keypad as my thumbs hit letter, those clicks and clacks, were therapeutic to my ears.

"Nice to meet you! This is the capturing goddess. 'Goth, Goth Panic,' right? It seems that everybody is having trouble with it."

"Good Morning! This is the capturing goddess. 'Akiiro' is a really nice game. As for its sequel…"

_I am the Capturing Goddess, deity of the gaming world!_

"Message Sent!" The PFP notified.

Sighing, I flicked away the sweat that began to gather on my eyebrows.

"Now then, next message… Huh?"

The next message was quite an intriguing one. It used an unconventional font, and there was an image of the sender's signature on the bottom right. There was even a push-button which read 'reply' which is not usually found in the usual email. But what was most intriguing about it was the content.

* * *

><p>Dear Capturing Goddess,<p>

I have heard that you could capture any man you desire.  
>It is quite a hyperbole, but if this is true, then I have a target for you.<br>If you have confidence in your success, then please press the reply button.

[Reply]

P.S. If it is impossible, then whatever you do, do _not_ press the button.

Docrow Skull

* * *

><p><em>What is this? Some sort of challenge? It stinks of provocation…<em>

If only I had dismissed it there and then as spam, my life wouldn't be as complicated… But I can't complain now, because it already happened. And as any moron with a brain would know, the past cannot be undone; a lesson I learned the hard way.

_Who do you think I am? God never turns down a challenge…_

I held the cursor over the Reply button, and pressed the trackball down.

The weather quickly changed; the skies turned black. Purple lightning headed towards me at the speed of, well, light.

_Wait, what? Purple lightning?_ My body flung itself away from the bench out of reflex, which was obviously the right thing to do. The lightning hit the bench with a loud bang that echoed loudly throughout the vicinity.

The explosion that followed was so great that just the force was enough to push me back, flinging me against a wall, causing me to lose my grip on the PFP I was holding gingerly.

When I regained my bearings, I noticed that there were no burn marks on the bench… but there was a girl wearing a violet Japanese dress… floating above it.

_What the heck?_ Was what I wanted to say, but the shock of the supernatural event had left me speechless.

I just sat there, stunned, mouth opened in awe, panties probably showing, as the black haired beauty which was about as tall as me slowly approached the ground.

She had her locks tied up in a ponytail behind her, just leaving enough for bangs, while wearing a violet dress which extended to her thighs. She held a broom oddly identical to the one I left beside the bench, there was some kind of skull themed accessory on the left side of her head, and she was wearing wooden slippers, or clogs, which had straps that almost reached the knees.

There was also some weird cloth saddled on her shoulders which floated a bit… But wasn't weird at the moment as the girl herself was floating too.

A sense of dread, curiosity, and wariness washed over me like cold water as the weird girl from the sky landed lightly on her feet, yet it wasn't enough to pull me out of shock.

She stood straight in front of me and smiled as though we knew each other. Behind her, I could see that the skies were normal once again.

"Thank you for accepting the contract, _Megami-sama!_" She said, giving a small bow as she did so.

_Megami-sama? What, she's a gamer as well?_

She approached me with jumpy and energetic steps. "Oh, wait, maybe you'd like it better if I called you Kami-sama instead? Yeah, Kami-sama is way cuter! Anyway, let's go…"

She held my hand, and heat welled up in my cheeks. _W-wait, I'm a girl! Why am I blushing?_

Everything she said went in one ear and out the other as my mind rebooted.

"And capture loose souls!"

_Loose souls?_

As I was about to ask, she bent down as if to jump and… jumped, really high into the air. And never did we fall.

_Wait, what the heck? We're flying?_

I tried to talk, but when I opened my mouth, only my terrified screams were heard.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

_I'm gonna die!_

* * *

><p>I sat there in the classroom panting, trying to catch my breath and my bearings.<p>

_D-did we just fly?_

"I got a response from a wide range search. Next, I should raise the precision and run a… an individual search? Was that it?" The girl whose name I did not know but took my hand and flew just a minute ago was currently staring out the window, a hand fixed on the skull accessory which was currently glowing red from the eyes.

_C-calm down. Don't succumb t-to reality. I need to s-save!_

Pressing the red save button, I cleared my throat, and then started talking.

"Okay, let's get things straight," I said, getting the girl's attention just as she pressed her hairclip's right-eye which made it glow green, then stop glowing.

I went up to the blackboard and picked up a piece of white chalk. "First of all, who are you?"

"I'm Elcea d'rut irma, but everyone just calls me Elsee. I'm a demon sent from hell as part of the Loose Souls Squad!"

…

_Say what?_

…

_A wise person avoids dangerous 3-D events. It's best not to get involved._

I walked away and opened the door. "That's right, isn't today Thursday? I'm gonna go buy a game-"

"Please wait!" She caught on to my sleeve. _Curse the one who designed this uniform and its puffy sleeves! Tch, I might as well listen to what she has to say._

I turned around as she continued. "If you aren't careful, you might lose your head."

_Say what?_ My hand shot up to my throat as a reflex, and noticed something which was not there a moment earlier. There was a collar around my neck. I tried to pull it off, but it just wouldn't budge. Suddenly, it started glowing and slightly constricted me. "Wh-what's with this collar?"

Her expression at that moment did not fit her at all. It was so sinister that I felt it was an affront to reality as a whole. That smile was so wrong in many ways. I just knew out of instinct that this was outside her nature.

"You signed a contract with a demon. You received the papers, right?"

_A contract? Hmm…_ I thought about it for a while-

The weird email came to mind.

_EH? THAT MESSAGE?_

"Contracts in hell are very strict, so be careful. If the contract is breached, or if you cannot fulfil the conditions, that collar will take your head off."

_That collar will take your head off…_

_Take my head off…_

_My head off…_

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

"And then, after that, your head will… Kyaah! I can't say it!"

_Something worse will happen?_

"Say it! What will happen? No, scratch that, take this thing off me instead!"

"It'll be alright! Once we round up all the loose souls, it'll be removed!"

…_She mentioned that earlier too… What are those, anyway?_

"Loose souls?"

Doro-doro-doro-doro-doro-doro-

The skull accessory on her head started to blink red and made an exasperating noise comparable to the viral Nyan-cat.

"There's a loose soul nearby!" She exclaimed, and then made a dash for the window.

Then, she started using the broom she was carrying to sweep the floor, clean the roof and the window linings. After a few seconds, she patted the windowsill. "Okay, you can come here now, Kami-sama."

_That was quick… And why is she insisting on calling me Kami-sama?_

I decided to do so, and as I looked down, she was searching the crowd below, with squinted eyes. The people below were clearly from the track team, with the red and white sweatpants and jackets.

Something caught her eye, and she pointed at it. "That guy in front! He's the one!"

I looked at the person she was pointing at. _Oh, him._ "That's… He's in my class. Takahara Yuma, I think…"

Another extraordinary thing manifested itself in front of me. There was this weird bluish-green smoke seeping out of his body. This weird event sent shivers down my spine.

"H-hey, what's that?"

"Evil souls that have escaped from hell. Loose Souls. They came here to commit evil acts."

"Then go capture it!"

"If it was that simple, I would have spared you the energy, but… loose souls hide within the gaps of the heart."

…

"Gaps of the heart?"

_W-wait…_

"Then isn't it impossible to capture them?"

_Why am I going along with her story? Well, whatever…_

"That's where you come in, Kami-sama! You, the human buddy, are supposed to fill up the gap within the heart of the person! Then, the loose soul will be forced out, and the best way to do that… is to make him fall in love with you!"

…_Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?_

"W-wait? You're telling me to capture a real guy!"

_This is insane! I'd never be able to do that!_

"Well, yeah… If possible, a kiss would do the trick…"

…

"You idiot! You're making a huge mistake! I have never even held hands with a real guy!"

I lost myself out of blind rage, but quickly regained composure.

"Furthermore, not even the guy would like that. Real guys call me… otamegane."

It seemed that I have surprised her, as she lost her steel grip on the broom she held…

* * *

><p>"That's awful! Just awful, Kami-sama! I never thought you were the goddess of games!"<p>

"Who's the awful one?" I was slightly insulted by how she reacted to the revelation, but my protests were ignored as she continued her monologue.

"I knew I would mess up… *sniff* I'm terrible at everything…"

Likewise, ignoring her emotional breakdown, I continued, "In any case, now that that's straightened out, get this collar off of me."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

_What!_

"Though, if it's any consolation, you should know that the contract binds us together, so… I'll die with you." She said this will sniffing and rubbing away her tears. I don't know why, but the pitiful sight seemed to have flipped the 'caring big sister' switch in me that I didn't even know I had.

_Eh!_

I know it's too late to say this now, but I really wish I didn't press that button.

* * *

><p>Whoosh-<p>

Sigh. The cool breeze blew against us as we sat by the stairs which led to the track field. It had a good view of the area, which was good, since it gave more room for creativity, which was exactly what I needed at the moment.

The members of the track team were currently stretching and warming up, a standard procedure followed by most to avoid cramps. At the moment, the one with me was whining about her misfortune.

"Sigh, there's a loose right in front of me, and all I can do is clean. I really am useless…"

_Will you please stop your self-pity party? Did you know that moods are contagious?_

The voices of the track team members idly conversing could be heard from my vantage point.

"I'm done warming up!"

"Shall we start practicing?"

I ripped a page out of the notebook I carry with me all the time, one I use to draw out paths in extremely complex games with gajillions of choices.

Meanwhile…

"Maybe if I did some research, I wouldn't be…"

Elsee was still whining about her fate, and it was getting on my nerves.

"Shut it! I'm listing down games I need to replay before I lose my head! And this, and this, and this, and this…"

Goso-goso-goso-goso-

The sound of the pen scribbling on paper was the only noise preventing a pin drop to be heard.

"So you've already given up, huh? Sigh…"

I could understand her dismay. I mean, I would be dismayed too if I was a demon from hell in a mission to capture loose souls and was given a useless partner because of a misunderstanding which would lead to the destruction of all my dreams and the loss of my head… Wait, would I? I don't actually know, since that's never happened to me, and I can assure you with my 100% that it never will.

She continued. "But… Kami-sama is the capturing goddess, right? Couldn't you make a real guy fall for you just like in games?"

_Ah, a window to vent my frustrations through._

"Don't equate games with reality! That's an insult to games." I suddenly snapped, making Elsee flinch a bit. I ignored this and continued.

"They call that a track team? As far as I'm concerned, That is way too inaccurate to be a track team!"

…

"Inaccurate?"

_Of course, an amateur would inquire._

"Not one of them has their sleeves rolled up!"

"…Huh? Sleeves? Is there something wrong with that?"

_You dare question my judgment? God's judgment?_

"Don't screw with me! Boys on the track team must have their sleeves rolled up!" I screamed loudly, with all the force my diaphragm would supply.

"Kyaaah!" She covered her ears in panic, confusion and pain.

Regaining composure, I calmly continued. "Boys on the track team are supposed to have their sleeves rolled up, and put on an armband!"

"Umm… That's in games…"

"Geez… Real men are such imperfections. There is no way I can attract guys of the real world. I won't capture a quy who won't put forth the effort."

Sighing, I tried to return to writing my list, but Elsee frantically patted my shoulder and pointed at something.

"Alright, time to get serious!" One of the boys from the track team suddenly said.

"K-kami-sama, he rolled his sleeves up!"

_Say what? There's no way-holy crap!_

It was happening. Takahara Yuma had his sleeves rolled up, and was currently putting on a black armband.

"It happened just as Kami-sama said it would!"

_This is not happening! …But it is, it is happening._

"I-it's just a coincidence! Yeah, that's it, just a coincidence. It's still not enough! A track team wearing long pants is unacceptable in games! I'm not going to make a move if they're not wearing P.E. shorts!"

_Yeah! There's no way that- did their pants just morph into P.E. shorts?_

My eyes were probably bulging out of their sockets right this moment as the cloth that floated above Elsee's shoulders slithered back to her.

Of course, since this was an unnatural phenomenon, shocked reactions were inevitable… though I didn't expect the shocked reactions to be pleased reactions at the same time.

"Woah! What just happened?"

"Our clothes! Did somebody buy some cool new gadget or something?"

"Well, this is good and all, since we were going to change into them anyway, but what the heck just happened?"

"Wow, that was like magic! Too bad nobody brought a camera."

"I did!"

"It's too late for that now..."

_This is cheating! No fair! I didn't know she could do this!_

"I used my garment to change their appearances. If it's only what's on the outside, at least I can help. But only you can change what's on the inside. I… I have faith in you, Kami-sama!"

…_Well, I'm going to die anyway, so I guess I might as well try._

Sighing, I drooped my head in defeat.

"Let's do this, Kami-sama!"

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day (Capture In-Progress: Day 1)<strong>

"D-do I really have to do this?"

"It's alright, Kami-sama. You look great!"

"I-if you say so…"

I stepped out from behind the tree after being processed by Elsee's garment.

"So, are the banners r-ready?"

"Of course, Kami-sama! Just give the signal, and I'll deploy them."

"Sigh. Alright, just hide out in there, and we'll see how this turns out."

_This is embarrassing beyond reason… But I guess I have no choice. Well, I better get this over with and lose the tension than procrastinate forever and lose my head._

I walked, but each step got harder and harder until it felt as though one step was agony, and the next one was a walk through hell. But I had to persevere. I just had to.

Finally, I reached the top of the steps of the ladder from yesterday. I mimicked scissors with my left hand with the pointer and middle finger behind my back, the signal me and Elsee had talked about.

With what I looked like, I of course attracted attention from the crowd below, but not as much attention as the banners that appeared all of the sudden.

"_**DO YOUR BEST! TAKAHARA YUMA-KUN!**_"

"**YUMA**"

"**WIN! WIN!**"

"_**MAI-HIGH'S ROCKET**_"

As expected, some sniggering ensued, as well as a flattered and ticked Takahara.

_Good. Now, to top it off…_

I cleared my throat to reacquire their attention.

_A-one… a-two… a-one, two, three, go!_

I raised my pompoms, and started to move like a cheerleader.

"Y-U-M-A-  
>Mai-High's Rocket comes this way!<br>Get away! Get away!  
>If you don't, you'll get kicked away!<br>Takahara Yuma! Go! Go! Go!  
>Takahara Yuma! Go! Go! Go!<br>Takahara, he's the man!  
>If he can't do it, no one can!"<p>

I was wearing a cheerleader uniform quite different from Mai-high's. The upper part was a small white sleeveless top with blue linings and print which almost looked like a V, which exposed much of my stomach… practically all of it. Along with it was a matching white short skirt again with blue linings and the symbol "KK" printed at the lower left, which probably stood for "Katsuragi Keiko," but I couldn't be too sure since Elsee was the one who designed it. And Elsee has been an unpredictable radical since yesterday.

To top it off, I put on a yellow hairband to straighten my waist length hair, which I never bother to cut, and yellow pompoms which always seemed puffy no matter how I flattened it.

I still had my glasses on, though… Wait, was that necessary information?

Surely nobody had expected this, the school's infamous _otamegane_ putting on a cheerleader outfit that looked quite good on her, which exposed so much skin it should be banned by law, cheering for none other than the representative for the oncoming inter-school meet, Takahara Yuma.

The people were either too distracted at me doing things that nobody thought I would, or could, do, at trying to peek under the mini-skirt only to get disappointed by shorts, or the fact that no teacher was trying to stop my crusade.

_Hmp… This just shows how imperfect real guys are. Such perverts!_

Either way, Yuma eventually got over the shock and stomped off towards me.

"_Otamegaa!_ What are you doing?"

He grabbed me by the arm, which I reacted to with a tiny yelp of pain people would probably consider as cute. To this, he let go of my hand, probably apologetic, but the emotion was overshadowed by his apparent rage at what I was doing.

_Since our first meeting had already occured, my next best option was to do something extreme that the 'me' he knows wouldn't usually do. This way, his view of me is distorted, something that can be advantageous if utilized properly. All I have to do is make that distorted image look good to him, and the rest will be in place. Anyway, next is the cute pose._

I hugged myself as though to hide the skin I was deliberately showing, 'innocently' pushing my assets up to make it show a bit more clearly.

"P-please move back a bit, it's unnerving for a guy to see me in these so closely…" I said, looking away, but keeping up the furtive glances now and then.

_Fan service shot, successful!_

He complied, but he was still mad. As expected.

"All right, what's up with all these embarrassing banners?"

"W-well, since the competition is approaching," I pushed my pointer fingers together and acted shy, then continued, "I was cheering."

He crossed his arms, expressing disbelief through his face, but the blush he had on said otherwise.

"Well, I'm sorry that I made you clean the roof by yourself. Is this your revenge? Well, do it again and I'll tell the teachers on you. You're violating the dress code."

He turned around, rubbed his forehead, and walked down the stairs and back to the field.

When he was far enough, Elsee emerged from her hiding place.

"K-kami-sama… Is it alright like this? He seems to be angry about it…"

"It's fine. For now, I need to increase the number of encounters! In games, the strength of the relationship is proportional to the number of encounters. I have to keep watering our 'flower of love' until it blooms!"

"E-eh? You're still talking about games?"

"What else is there to talk about?"

"Well, I guess you're-"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention it, but… I AM SO NOT DOING THE CHEERLEADING THING AGAIN!"

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 2<strong>

Today, as promised, I did not put in the cheerleading getup. However…

"Why are you still here? Stop posting those embarrassing banners!"

His screams of protest were loud, but I pretended not to hear.

I stood there again at the apex of the stairs, fists on hips, wearing just the school uniform and a sign "Yuma Love" around my forehead which he probably can't see anyway because of sheer distance.

_This is such a pain… _

I sighed. When the hell was this going to end anyway?

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 3<strong>

I stood at the edge of the schools rooftop, listening to his complaints.

"Vertical Banners aren't any better!"

_Heehee, this is actually quite funny… Wait, what am I thinking? I must be going crazy…_

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 4<strong>

This time, we had used identical red flags with 'Yuma,', the English word 'love,' and the symbol for fish, which Elsee had added for reasons unknown. Maybe she felt it was too plain? I don't know. They were lined up across the railings which overlook the track field.

"Tch. I've had enough. I'm ignoring you."

He turned his back on me and returned to their practice sessions.

When nobody was looking, Elsee landed beside me. "Are you sure this is working, Kami-sama? He seems to hate you even more now…"

I then held my clenching stomach with both arms.

_Guh… I think I'm getting dysmenorrhea…_

"In games, 'hate' can easily be turned to 'love.' Overcoming an event like fighting or being disliked is always a plus…"

I looked down at the field where the agile Takahara Yuma, sleeves rolled up while wearing a black armband, was clearing hurdles at a neck-breaking speed with no sweat at all.

_Wow, he is good._ _No wonder he got picked. Even Senjougahara Hitagi would have qualms about running for that long while jumping hurdles that high…_

Each hurdle was about my waist high, probably 125cm each.

"I see." Elsee nodded in understanding. "So he doesn't really hate you right now… Hmm…"

_Actually, there's a really high probability that he does hate me! No save function… No log… One try… How the hell am I supposed to play this? If their life weren't on the line, nobody would do this!_

"I-I have to go use the toilet again…"

"Ah! Take your time, Kami-sama…"

As I walked towards the high school building while clutching my pained abdomen, I heard a loud call, which caught my attention.

"Hey, Takahara! Come here for a sec!"

I looked, and saw three other members of the track team, probably upperclassmen, looking impatient.

"Yes! What is it?" Yuma obediently responded and changed course to them, but decelerating quite a bit before doing so. Of course he did. I mean, it would be bad if he bumped his seniors, right?

"Don't 'what is it' me! Juniors are supposed to wait until the seniors are done running." One of the rather intimidating figures asked.

"Why are you guys running before us?" Another chimed in.

The one in the middle just glared holes down at the intrepid Yuma, who kept face despite the obvious abuse of power.

"W-well, I thought that the upperclassmen were absent today… and there isn't much time left until the competition."

"Did you hear that? Competition? He's already acting like he's part of the team."

"Why am I the alternate while you got chosen as the representative? You just happened to run a decent time once."

I don't know why he did so, but Yuma butted in and shouted "If you're going to punish me, please do it quickly! There really isn't much time until the competition!"

However, this just seemed to tick the upperclassmen off, since one cocked his arm as if to punch, but held back, while the other pointed at the track and screamed "Around the track! 50 LAPS!"

The spirit of defiance seemed to have stuck with Yuma, though, as he nodded and dashed back to the track. "Understood!"

Meanwhile…

"Uuuuah! What a terrible senpai! So even the human world has people like those too…"

"Even hell has those? Wait, there are schools in hell?" My question was ignored by the demoness in a tantrum, which was good, since I was also lost in thought.

My aching stomach was long lost to me as I scratched my head.

_Hmm… I guess there are some pretty decent guys in the real world too… Wait! Hold it! What am I thinking? This is self-blasphemy!_

Sighing, I started to walk away and called out to Elsee.

"Hey, come on. We need to plan for tomorrow."

Finally acquiring her attention, she hop-jogged to follow me.

"Of course, Kami-sama!"

I took one final look down the field before leaving.

_Wait, he's cleared two laps already? A minute has barely passed!_

* * *

><p>o-o<p>

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon, and the usually blue sky was now painted with the hot shades of orange and yellow, clear signs of the quickly approaching dusk.<p>

Quick but light footsteps in a rhythm clearly of a jogger's were heard from the track area of Maijima High.

The source is none other than Takahara Yuma, a 2nd year High School student of the said school, who had been running for 20 minutes straight with absolutely no rest.

Finally, Yuma stopped running, and held onto his knees with both of his arms for support, while panting for much needed air.

He was approached by two of his friends.

"Good work!" Akagi Ryou, the first congratulated.

"The seniors already went ahead." This time, Terada Minato spoke. "They're pretty horrible, aren't they?"

Meanwhile, Yuma fell on his butt and collapsed on the concrete, too exhausted to stand.

"I don't really care…" he replied, acting indifferent, though not exactly being too convincing as he lied there on the track.

"Speaking of horrible, that cheerleading _otamegane_ isn't much better." Miyako added.

_The otamegane?_ Yuma looked around, but saw no signs of Katsuragi's embarrassing banners, or her eccentric face. _Huh, so she left…_

Ryou nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Now is the time she should be cheering for you from up there!"

"It doesn't matter…"

_So, she really is just getting her revenge, huh?_

Yuma sat up, and stared down the ground in silent melancholy.

* * *

><p>o-o<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 6<strong>

I sat behind the usual bush as I listened in on today's idle talk between the track team members.

"Eh? The cheering girl didn't show up today!"

"Yuma was all lonely and sad."

"You idiot! As if!"

_It's time!_

I raised the walkie-talkie to my mouth and pressed the button.

"Now, Elsie!"

I let go of the button and stared at the school rooftop.

_Nothing, nothing, noth-oh, there it is!_

From the rooftop, three large balloons, along with enormous and identical banners, took to the air.

"Whaa! What the!"

"Wow, advertisement balloons. I haven't seen one in forever."

"But why are they skulls?"

_I'm wondering the exact same thing. Why are they skulls, Elsee?_

Speaking of the devil (pun not intended), Elsee landed right beside me.

"I'm sorry, Kami-sama. I was only able to make three because the garment ran out."

"I only needed one!" _Wait, the garment runs out?_

"Anyway, isn't it great, Kami-sama? The track meet is tomorrow! With all the cheering you've done, Yuma-san will surely come in first place!"

_As if it were that easy…_

I held a basket filled with fruits which I had planned on giving to Yuma later after practice.

"And we'll make those evil senpai regret it! Really! Really!"

_What bad experiences did she have with upperclassmen that made her like this?_

"If he wins after all your cheering, Yuma-sama will surely fall for Kami-sama!"

"Waah!"

A scream of distress was heard from afar, and the voice was Yuma's.

We turned around and saw that Yuma was lying on the track on his side, with his friends rushing to his aid. There was also a hurdle lying on the ground beside his feet.

_So he hit the hurdle during practice and fell, huh? How unfortunate… and unnatural. One would usually be more careful during crucial times such as this. But maybe he was just so excited about it? I can't be too sure…_

* * *

><p>"Eh!"<p>

I leaned against the clinic door and tried to overhear the conversation. Yes, I knew eavesdropping is bad, but nobody was stopping me, so meh.

But then again, even if I hung around the other side of the hallway, I would still be able to overhear what their loud voices were saying. Sentence emphasis on the word 'loud.'

"Eeeeh? He sprained it" A voice, clearly Terada's from the same class as me, rang through the hallway.

"Why…? the competition is tomorrow…" This time, Yuma was the one to talk.

"Wasn't it strange? That hurdle today…" Someone I don't know spoke, but I guessed he was Yuma's friend, since he was concerned enough to stay at the clinic.

Terada agreed. "I know! It felt like the space between that one and the others was shorter than it should have been! I wonder if someone moved it…"

I gambled a peek inside, and spied Yuma staring at the floor with a dejected look.

"It's hopeless… If he doesn't win, we can't…" My buddy, Elsee, swept the hallway floor as she complained to life in general about her misfortune.

It seems like she sweeps things just to relieve stress.

However, I ignored her pity party as I dived into my thoughts…

"Injury… Senpai… Hurdle… Cheering…"

_-!_

Elsee sighed once again.

"Hey, it seems we have reached the turning point."

She turned around in mild surprise.

"Huh?"

"I can already see the ending."

"Eh!"

"This will be the final battle. Now, I'm going to make him confess his love to me!"

"EEHHHH!"

* * *

><p>It took a while for Terada and the other friend, who I now recognized as Akagi, a 2nd year student from Class A, to leave, but it was well worth the wait.<p>

"Phew, now I can begin…"

I already took the necessary precautions. I had Elsee stay outside and disguise herself as a guard to make sure nobody comes, checked if there were still teachers, if the fruits in the basket were ripe, etc. etc. etc.

Now was the time for action.

I walked into the nurse's office carrying the basket and saw Takahara staring blankly at the ceiling while lying in bed as if in deep thought.

_A visiting event is a treasure trove of plus routes. No matter how you stumble about, there is no way to fail! Right here, in one go, I will max out Yuma's love points!_

Clearing my throat to take his attention, I began to talk.

"Hey, I brought you some fruit."

He looked at me with mock dissatisfaction.

"I never asked you to."

"You never asked me to cheer for you either."

I handed him the basket, which he accepted with a nod of thanks.

"I guess that's true… Anyway, what are you here for?"

"Well, I brought the fruits since I figured that if you ate a lot and regained your energy, you'd win the competition tomorrow."

SMACK-

An apple hit me at the shoulder.

"What's with this letter? Is this your idea of fun? You've been making me look stupid all week just to make fun of me, right?"

"O-ow… O-of course not! Why would I do something so horrible? I wouldn't wear that embarrassing outfit just for a prank, you know!"

However, he ignored my reply and continued on his streak. And hit me with a banana and a grape at the face while he was at it.

"Also, have you even seen my ankle? Do you really think I can run in this condition!"

"I do."

That stopped him, which was good, since he was on the verge of hitting me with a tangerine square at the face.

"Because… you're not really injured."

He lost his grip on the tangerine at this.

"Wha…?"

"…You wouldn't get such an injury from just falling over a hurdle."

"You've never run in a real race! Do you even realize how fast I was going then?"

"Certainly, you would have injured yourself if you were running at full speed. But, when you were running earlier, you didn't run as fast as you can."

"W-wait… How… do you know… a… all that…?"

"You didn't put on your black armband, and your sleeves weren't rolled up."

He gasped. I continued.

"You always roll your sleeves up before running seriously. Were you… planning to trip all along?"

He closed his eyes, clenched his fists, and gnashed his teeth, but soon relaxed. His expression morphed into a guilty one, like a kid being caught by his mom walking on soil without slippers on. He took off the blankets and angled himself so that his feet dangled from the bed.

He then stood up.

I noticed that we were actually around the same height, with him probably a centimetre or so taller than me. But that's not important right now.

"Isn't it better this way? Now the senpai can participate in the competition."

I only stood there and listened, for it was the right thing to do.

"It's just like they said. I only got on the team because I happened to run fast in front of the coach… I've been practicing constantly, but my time doesn't seem to improve… It'd be better if someone like me… if I didn't participate."

He started to sniff. Tears started to form on his eyes. He walked towards the door, behind me, probably to hide his tears.

"Why can't I run anymore? I've been practicing so hard…"

"Don't worry about it too much." I said, taking off my glasses and using my sleeves to wipe it clean.

He must have turned around to look at me, since he stopped sniffing to react with a small "huh?"

"Just do your best."

I then turned around, accidentally showing him a face that only a select few can say they have seen: Me, but without glasses.

He blushed.

"If it's rankings you are worried about, you're already first place…"

I put my hands behind my back and leaned a bit toward him, before I finished my statement.

"…In my heart."

He was blushing furiously now. He dropped the basket which I forgot he was still holding.

I walked around him and towards the door.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be concluding this vis-"

"Wait!"

_Wow, I thought I'd at least be out the door before he'd stop me, but…_

He caught my shoulders in a firm grip, and I turned around.

He let go, walked a few steps back, and bowed.

"Will you cheer for me tomorrow? Please?"

"Why not? I've been doing it all week already. I'd have done so anyway without you asking for it too. Well, is that all? Or do you have anything else to say?"

"Well, I, uh…" He twined his hands together and bit his lip as if in stress.

"I guess I'll be going now."

I put my glasses back on and briskly walked out of the room.

_So now I wait-_

"Wait!"

_Well that sure didn't take long._

I turned around to face him-

WHAM-

He crashed against me and we fell together… right into one hell of an awkward position.

He was looming above me, constricting my airspace as his body was laid on mine. His knees locked my thighs together, while my left arm was trapped under his right hand.

It didn't help that the first thing I did was moan in pain.

However, he ignored the awkwardness of the situation as he gripped both of my shoulders and pulled me close.

"I-I love you! Please say you love me back!"

In the heat of the situation, my mouth acted on it's own.

"I already did, Yuma! Now please get off me!"

"Let.. go… WAH!" Finally noticing how he looked like a rapist of the 80th decade, he jumped and bowed while apologizing.

"I-I'm so sorry, Keiko-chan! Uwah, I didn't notice It at all…"

He continued to bow and speak, but the rest came out as incoherent mumbles.

I walked towards him a bit and kneeled in front him with one knee. Giggling a bit at the sight of him, I began to talk.

"It's alright, I know you didn't mean it. But you know, you called me by my name. And for that, you deserve a reward."

"A reward? Wha-!"

He was cut off by my lips covering his. His eyes widened as he realized that we were kissing.

As he closed his eyes and drowned into the bliss of the pheromone cyclone inside of him, a greenish-white aura left his body, at first slowly, but suddenly faster than the wind as the loose soul took form and escaped from the hallway window.

I ended the kiss, and for some reason, Yuma was out cold.

_Is this a side effect of the loose soul escaping?_

Laying him down on the stone floor carefully, I looked out the window and saw that Elsee was already on the job, holding some kind of contraption… A jar?

Yes, Elsee was holding a large jar with both arms which was currently… vacuuming the loose soul in.

The scene would not be out of place in a Ghostbusters movie.

She even ended it with a pose, holding the now small jar detaining the loose soul on one hand and smiling at nobody, with one leg raised, while saying something inaudible, but was doubtlessly a catchphrase.

…_Maybe she watches too much TV… Wait, is there television in hell?  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Two Days Later…<strong>

After that, Yuma participated in the competition, and won spectacularly.

"That's great, Yuma!"

"Fufufu, how's that!"

While Takahara was busy bragging to his friends, I returned to my usual lifestyle, which consisted of gaming, gaming, and more gaming.

Suddenly, somebody smacked me with a rolled-up newspaper from behind.

_Ow! Who the hell is-_

"Hey, look, Katsuragi! I'm in the newspaper!"

There was a short lull in the one-way conversation, then-

"H-huh? Why the hell am I talking to someone like you…?"

He whispered this, but not silently enough that I could not hear it.

Yuma lost all of his memories of the capture.

"Takahara…"

Well, that makes it way easier for me.

"…congratulations."

"Th-thanks… Eh? Ah?"

I couldn't quite see, since I was focused with my game, but I had a feeling that he had turned around and was confused with how he had reacted.

I pulled on my bangs.

_We're strangers now! Reality should be left alone! …Come to think of it, where did she go?_

* * *

><p><strong>2 Days Ago…<strong>

"Kami-sama! I really admire you! You truly are the capturing goddess! I'll be following you from now on! I'll finish making the arrangements!"

Elsee said this to me with a really bright smile, like a child given a model train for Christmas.

* * *

><p><em>Arrangements? What's that supposed to mean?<em>

Suddenly, whispering covered the room.

Some idiotic Neanderthal slapped me in the back.

"Hey, _otamega_! What's that?"

_What, I thought everyone lost their memories? Why is somebody feeling close to me today? …Unless, I'm the one who lost my memories, and something happened in the past few days…_

But my thoughts of conspiracies were cut off as another held me by the shoulder.

"Where've you been hiding something like that?"

_Hiding w-WHAT THE HECK!_

"Hi, everyone! I'm the new transfer student, Katsuragi Elsee. Please take care of me and my big sister Keiko!"

My train of thought just crashed into a wall, got chopped up, and thrown to the sea. How do you think you'd feel if that happened to you? It was so bad that even my thoughts were stuttering.

_H-hey… what's t-that su-supposed to m-mean?_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>

Sigh. Fanfiction just screwed with me. I mean, I put some effort into typing those author's notes, but Fanfiction just failed to deliver. Sigh.

Anyway, I'll try to do it again.

Hey there! It's been a long time since I've done this. Earlier, I checked my Doc manager and guess what? All my Docs have expired! Congratulations.

Yay! I finally wrote a _seitenkan_ fic! I'm so happy...

So, for those Jap-jap illiterates:

_Sensei - _Teacher

_Megami_ - Goddess

_Kami - _God_  
><em>

_Otamegane _- Otaku (Geek) + Megane (Glasses wearing person)_  
><em>

_Senpai_ - Upperclassman/upperclassmen

So, anyway, I based all those names from the manga.

I'll be following the manga timeline.

I'm sorry if this chapter was almost like a corbon copy of the original, but there was not enough space for modification and innovation, since everything in it was crucial to the plot.

Also, I'm wondering if I should change Elsee into a guy, since it would be easier for me. I mean, the friendship between Ayumi, Chihiro, Miyako and Elsee (and eventually, Yui) is a big plot point for the original, but IF I decide not to, I'll have my work cut out for me, but I'll take it as a challenge.

However, if I do end up changing Elsee, I'll inform you in advance that I'll post it in a different story, and turn this into a one-shot.

And after that, there's still the problem with Haqua and Kanon... Sigh.

Also, if there were any typos and grammar errors, then I'm sorry for not editing and not having a beta reader. Blame it all on my illiteracy... Just don't sue me. Making mistakes is not illegal, you know.

Well, that's enough about what I think. What of you?

Was the characterization believable? Was pacing good? Was pacing bad? Too cliche? Not cliche enough? Did Keiko's monologues bore you to death? Did I bore you to death? Comments? Suggestions? Violent Reactions? Interaction between characters were unbelievable? Were their actions gender appropriate?

R&R, please! Reviews are the lifeblood of stories, just so you know.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to ask the most important question of all: Did you enjoy it?

-Soranium

/TCG #


	2. My Little Sister: Friendship is Magic

**Soranium:** Here's the second chapter of The Capturing Goddess! Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Soranium d-does n-n-not o-own _Kami nomi zo shiru sekai._ I-i-it's not that Soranium c-can't! Soranium j-j-just d-doesn't! /failtsunderemode

* * *

><p><strong>Maijima High<strong>

HEY THERE. MY NAME IS Katsuragi Keiko. I'm a 17 year old with neither the eye for the current fashion trends or the patience for video game release date delays.

For years, I have secluded myself from 'reality' through the world of games. Throughout my lonesome years, I unwittingly became a genius at capturing males in otome games… and the rest was history.

I became known throughout the game world as the capturing goddess. There I found that I was not alone, that there were people that play the games I play. However, their skills were inferior to mine.

Anyway, 'reality' was never interesting to me… at least, the reality that was less than games. Screw that, I'd say games are more of a reality than reality itself. This all changed when a girl fell from the sky. No, I am not a hallucinating lesbian, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not dead either. I'm a goddess, you know.

At the behest of this girl from hell, I was forced to perform an outrageous and traumatizing task; in order to exorcise an evil spirit which resides in the gaps of the human heart, I had to make a real guy fall in love with me!

Even worse, the events are progressing automatically, without me pressing the O button! These developments do not consider the player at all! The 'real' again proves itself to be a crappy game.

And now, the developments are getting even more bizarre! I mean, what could be more bizarre than having a girl from hell introduce herself as your little sister? And she's in the same class as me, for heaven's sake! How does that even work? When did little sisters start being the same age as their elder siblings? If a company tried to sell this kind of game to the public, gamers would totally burn them to the ground. I'd be there personally to light up the match, too.

_What in hell is she up to?_

The said demon bowed and started to walk to the seat appointed to her by the teacher.

Until now, I don't really see any demonic features on her. No horns, no tail, no pointy incisors. From my view, she seemed to be a perfect example of a 16 year old female high school student.

As usual, the transfer student always gets approached by the thick-faced crowd and started to interrogate her, throwing questions here and there incessantly.

However, I did not leave my seat and decided to just listen while continuing to play my game.

"Wow, so this girl is Katsuragi's little sister?"

"She's so cute!"

"Is Elsee your real name?"

"She looks like a doll!"

"You're her little sister, yet you're on the same grade. That's so cool!"

All she could do to respond was rub her wrists together, blush, make vague facial gestures and give small 'Ah's and 'Eh's.

Well, that was until this guy whom I would equate to broccoli asked her his question.

"Hey, are you really her little sister?"

"Yes! I'm her little sister."

"Eh? You're a lot more moe than her. It's kind of a waste on the likes of that Otamegane."

I would usually ignore that kind of shallow stab, but it riled her up, because her face immediately contorted and she raised her voice at the broccoli-guy. When I saw that reaction, I knew she was about to say something stupid, so I immediately rose and briskly walked towards her.

"Kind of? The likes of? How rude! Kami… Onee-sama is an amazing person! Because soon, every-mmph?"

And I got there just in time to cover her mouth, preventing her from saying anything embarrassing.

However, this got me the attention of the crowd that Elsee had attracted.

"Eh? Every what?"

_Tch. These morons are too nosy._

Without relinquishing the hold I had over her mouth, I began to walk away, pulling her with me as she tried to talk and struggle in vain.

"Elsee needs to go to the infirmary! Let's go, Elsee!"

* * *

><p>"What the hell was that?"<p>

We were at the rooftop again, sitting at the same bench where she emerged from purple lightning.

"B-but Kami-sama, what did I do wrong?"

"You were about to embarrass me in front of the whole class! What is wrong with you? Can't you understand that?"

"I'll never do that, Kami-sama! I was just going to tell them that everyone in the world would eventually fall in love with you!"

"That's what I'm saying! Have you forgotten what I am called? I'm the otamegane! Nobody will ever fall for me!"

"…But Takahara-kun did…"

Heat rushed to my cheeks as they undeniably gained a crimson shade.

_Speaking__ of __which_…

"About that, I captured the runaway spirit already! Shouldn't the contract be fulfilled now?"

For emphasis, I pointed at the chaffing metallic ring surrounding my neck, which I had tried to remove for the past few days… though in vain.

"Now take this guillotine collar off, quickly!"

"But the contract isn't over yet. We've only managed to capture one runaway spirit… In this town, there are plenty of runaway sprits hiding!"

_Wait, is she implying what I think she's implying?_

"H-hey! Do you mean I have to capture _every_ runaway sprit in this town?"

She ignored me and continued to blabber to herself as she summoned a pink envelope with a skull sticker on it from... Wait, where'd she get the letter from again?

"The chief made a bunch of arrangements so that I can assist Kami-sama further. If I'm your sister and attending the same class, we can be together all the time!"

_Together all the time?_

"Wait, you mean you're planning to come to my house as well?"

"Of course! Don't siblings in this world live together?"

_To even suggest such nonsense-! Have you no brain?_

"But you're not my sister!"

Smiling like an idiot, she countered, "I'm your sister now!"

"NO!" I screamed, taking her aback.

I pumped my fist for emphasis.

"The compromise with reality ends here! I will _never_ let you into my house!"

* * *

><p><strong>Café GrandpaKatsuragi Residence**

"My, my, how unusual! Keiko brought a friend!"

My mother, Katsuragi Mari. was standing at the doorway into Café Grandpa, or our house to be simple.

She was dressed in quite a simple fashion, wearing a yellow blouse with small frills, paired with a grin skirt that touched down to her legs.

Her orange hair was tied up in single bun from behind, held up by a horizontal hairclip. She was also wearing glasses, as the eye disability I had was genetic… and both my mom and dad had it. I really had no fighting chance to escape this eye-curse.

She looked to be in her twenties, and though their guesses would probably be naccurate, I couldn't blame them. Even I would say that my mom was a beauty, and would stand a chance to get the Miss Maijima award. Actually, if she wasn't too busy being gangsta in her teenage days, she would surely have won that award. Too bad she wasn't a _miss_ anymore.

Anyway, the situation wasn't looking good for me.

_How did this happen?_

Earlier, we returned to the classroom to finish classes. When the bell rang, I quickly dashed off so that Elsee wouldn't notice me going. The weather was quite fair, and it felt like it shouldn't have been. Why couldn't it have had the decency to be dark and looming just to follow the mood, anyway? Reality is a crappy game, alright.

On the way back, I made a couple of intentional wrong turns just to shake anybody who might be following me off. I even turned my head around every block to check if someone was following…

I probably looked like someone who just nicked something from the convenience store and was being chased by the local police.

And yet here I was, standing in front of my mother with a girl my mom thought to be a friend of mine.

Apparently, she followed me from the air. Too bad I forgot to check from above…

_I knew I should have taken the sewers. There's a manhole right in front of our house!_

"Come in, come in, and have a seat! Our shop has plenty of chairs! Hohoho."

Mom's weird Santa laugh always made me shiver to the spine.

"She's not my friend."

"Of course she is! Now come, don't be shy."

Mom then walked in to prepare something for the guest, probably the usual jasmine tea.

I hurriedly walked in and closed the door behind me.

Click-

The sound of the lock calmed my nerves.

_Ah, there we go. Now she can't-_

Creak-

"Wow, she seems like such a kind mother… Wow! This is a neat place, Kami-sama!"

The black-haired Elsee murmured to herself in monotone as her head peeked into the door, now open.

The café wasn't really that exciting or entrancing. It even looked like your average living room, only bigger, with more chairs and tables, and a table top counter with the utensils neatly stocked behind it.

_Tch. I knew I should have replaced the lock yesterday when mom told me to do so._

I tried to force the door back, but to my dismay, I couldn't. Elsee wouldn't budge. She didn't even seem to be applying any force against the door at all. Such monstrous strength… I guess she really is a demon.

My mom chose this moment to arrive, carrying 3 cups of tea on a tray.

Sniff-

_Almond tea. Ah, my guess was incorrect. Why can't I ever understand your rhythm, mom?_

Yes, I can identify tea flavors from their smells. Sue me.

Anyway, my mom addressed Elsee with a question, delivering it with her usual cheery intonation.

"What's your name, dear?"

"I go by Elsee!"

"Oh, I'll call you El-chan then. And Keiko, please let our guest in now. It's rude to invite a friend and not let them in. So, what brings you here today, El-chan?"

Then Elsee effortlessly pushes me off the door and wildly articulates as she delivers the most unprecedented wham line of the century.

"I am an illegitimate child of your husband."

_Wait, what kind of shit are you pulling?_

CRASH-

The sound of the metal tray hitting the floor and fragments of shattered porcelain scattering was the only thing that could be heard.

My mom then started laughing.

"Hohoho, you're a funny kid, aren't you."

She sounded like she was convincing herself, though. And failing,

Relentless on her efforts, Elsee then summoned the weird letter from earlier again… from nowhere, again.

"This… is a letter from my deceased mother."

Holding it with both hands, she walked over to my mother, avoiding the shards of porcelain with a grace I'd have thought she didn't have, and handed it to her.

My mom took it immediately, meticulously opened the envelope, extracted the letter inside, but showed some indecisiveness in unfolding the piece of paper, quickly recovering after a few seconds. I looked over her shoulders to take a peek at the letter, but it was too far away, and the writing was quite small. Not to mention, the eye disability that causes me to wear glasses is quite a handicap too.

Her eyes scanned the contents right to left, quick as a fax machine, before handing the letter back to Elsee with a small thank you, smiling eerily, then walking towards the café's counter while taking out the pink slide phone she barely used, while dialling the speed dial for who I knew was father.

After two rings, the receiver immediately picked up.

"Hello, honey?"

She undid her hair by pulling on the hair clip, revealing her long, flowing, waist-length hair just like mine, but longer and was colored in a brighter hazel shade when compared to the dull brown of mine.

"Yeah, it's me."

She then entered _rage__ mode._ And by rage mode, I mean taking off her glasses, revealing her angry red eyes, reverting to her natural deeper-by-an-octave voice, and grimacing at nothing but air, though she was probably imagining dad in front of her… probably tied up in convoluted and sick ways even I couldn't imagine.

"Care to explain yourself?"

Some murmurs from the phone, then she kicks on a sturdily made chair, which flies off and breaks apart upon contact with the wall.

"Explain what? Why don't you ask your f***ing d***, you b****!"

Sighing, I leaned my head against my palm and wished for this to be over with. On the other hand, Elsee was turning blue from the foul language my seemingly pure mother was spouting. For no real reason, I told her the crazy truth.

"She used to be a biker."

"You're in an f***ing overseas trip again? You f***ing piece of bulls***! So there's a f***ing child for each f***ing trip, huh?"

Ignoring my mom's emotional rampage, I started a conversation with Elsee, but in a whispery tone.

"So, that letter was?"

In an equal whisper, she replied.

"An intimate letter that the chief forged."

_Figures._

As a grand finale, my mom threw her phone at the door while screaming "Don't ever come back, you f***er!"

After releasing some steam, she seemed to have regained some composure. She turned around and addressed me.

"Forget about your father, Keiko. He is dead to us."

Elsee, who might as well have been blonde, stupidly remarked "Did he pass away?"

"He's not dead! My dad's not a phone, duh!"

Then, without either of us noticing her approach, mom already had me and Elsee in a bear hug.

"Don't worry about it. I promise to take good care of both of you!"

_Wait, what?_

"Hold it right there!"

She didn't though. She was adamant about taking care of Elsee. I sighed in defeat.

_Holy crap. What the hell is happening to my life?_

And thus, the all-female Katsuragi household was born.

* * *

><p>O-O<p>

* * *

><p>Her new mother was busy taking care of things on the café, so Elsee decided to try and communicate with the mysterious but all-powerful Capturing Goddess and now big sister Keiko. And failing to do so.<p>

At the moment, her target was slumped down on the couch, alternating glances between the handheld thing she always carried around and the weird box that flashed random lights to produce accurate images, which almost resembled a cinemator from hell, except that it occupied space and had mass.

Thinking of a topic to get them started, she decided on asking what the wondrous things were.

"Kami-sama, what is that thing you're holding called?"

However, Keiko didn't seem to give her any notice, and was muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like 'not enough games this month' and 'this is a crappy anime' and 'why is this bug-demon sticking her face at mine?' and 'if only I had some sweets.'

Elsee tried again.

"Kami-sama, let's go searching for more loose souls!"

She got ignored again, and she was developing the hunch that she was being cold-shouldered by the Otoshimegami.

Half an hour of this kind of interaction passed, and she gave up, deciding to sit beside Keiko and covered her face with her hand.

That was when Keiko talked.

"Get off of my couch."

Taken aback by the statement, the demon stared at her incredulously for a moment, frozen in place.

"I said, get off of my couch. And while you're at it, go ahead welcome yourself outside the house as well."

Regaining her senses, she finally answered, getting teary-eyed in the process.

"B-but Onee-sama-"

But she was cut off by a slap across the cheek. It had stung. It had stung a lot. Keiko, her brows knotted together, teeth clenching in anger, growled in an elevated volume.

"Don't you call me that! You're not my little sister! I won't accept it, even if mom says so! Can't you understand the gravity of the situation? Because of you, mom has her eyes set on filing a divorce!"

Cupping her cheek on one hand, she determinedly shook her head, and replied. "I'll do anything! Please, be my Onee-sama! Please let me stay with you?"

Clicking her tongue, Keiko looked away and crossed her arms in disgust, though Elsee thought she saw Keiko's hand, the one she had used to slap Elsee with, shaking. Was it because of fear? Was it because of anger? She hadn't the resources or the leverage to discern that, so she settled with what she could do, and set her heart to intently listening to whatever her Kami-sama wanted to say. Keiko's conditions were Elsee's lifeline and were stepping stones to serve the squad better, after all. Her only hope, actually.

"I can't live with you."

She steeled her nerves in anticipation of what would follow, failing to notice Keiko whisper 'Now what would _he_ say?' to nobody in particular. Keiko pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, failing to ignore the slight flash as light reflected against the eyewear. She had to admit, it was an impressive sight to see. Keiko then spoke up.

"You have failed to meet the job requirements of being a little sister!" Keiko exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the bewildered Elsee, who almost face-faulted.

_J-job__ requirements?__What__ an __unexpected __reason__…_ Elsee thought, as Keiko turned her back against Elsee causing her long unkempt locks to sway beautifully, accentuating her slim waist, and then continued at the same time her hair stopped swaying.

"BMW! This emblem should be seen clearly, even when it's not imprinted on the body physically. These are the basic conditions that make a little sister a little sister!"

_BMW?_ Elsee thought. She imagined that four-wheeled mode of transportation that human males seem to be infatuated to.

"First is Blood, as in a blood relationship! The same lifeblood must flow in your veins! A sister-in-law: a person who is like a sister; such weak characters count as nothing in the end, and are as good as strangers!

"Next is Memory, as in shared memories! A mass of memories that families have accumulated! This is an irreplaceable bond for siblings!

"And the most important of the qualities, a heartfelt respect for the elder sibling. Worship, as in love for the elder!"

"…That last part suddenly felt forced…" Elsee voiced out, but she was ignored again, with Keiko concentrating on something interesting on her PFP. "Oh, an event," she said in a flat tone, which meant it was either a bad event or Keiko was just trying to prematurely end the conversation.

Elsee would not let it stand at that. She tried to argue with Kami-sama, even though Keiko might burn her to a crisp if Elsee pushed her too much.

"I-I don't think you need a setup like that!"

Keiko didn't even glance sidelong at her as she replied. "People ignore things like that because they believe they do not need them. That's the real reason reality rots away. This world needs higher standards. Those who are not qualified should not receive the privilege to be what they want to be!"

Then, unexpectedly, Keiko sighed. "I don't really believe what I just said, though. It's just something I remembered." She then glanced at Elsee; as hollow as it was, it was still a glance. "You are not a little sister."

She frowned at that. Just when Elsee thought she had a shot at attaining Keiko's approval, she got shot down again. And worse, the reason she gave was simply because she didn't want Elsee as her little sister. It hurt. Did her big sister also dislike being her big sister? She wondered. She held herself together, mustered up what little courage she had left, and ventured another trip out the comfort zone.

"But… But I really am a little sister! I have an older sister. Th-that dish I cooked for you… I used to cook it for my nee-chan a lot. My nee-chan's an amazing devil! She always excels at whatever she does… She's truly a devil among devils! Me, on the other hand… was stuck on cleaning duty, day after day after day… nee-chan, why are we so different when we're siblings?"

Elsee couldn't help but feel a bit of melancholy while reminiscing her days as a janitor demon. She was on the verge of tears, but continued speaking, because all she could do right which helped at the moment was speak.

"That's why… when I was chosen to be a member of the runaway spirit squad, I was so happy I was going to explode! Finally, finally… I can start working as a devil! I've waited three hundred years for this… I absolutely cannot fail! I must capture the runaway spirits!"

Once Elsee finished her speech, she patiently awaited Keiko's verdict. Surprisingly, it didn't take very long for Keiko to answer, again without batting an eyelash.

"I see. So you expect me to believe that you are 300 years old?"

"Yep! And I've had this broom for two hundred and ninety eight years!"

"Mm. So let's say I go along with your delusional story for now, as I have for the rest of this crackpot scam 'hell' made me go through. So what if you have an older sister? So what if you were a metro aide-of-hell? Should I care? No, I don't think I should. You were the one who ruined the perfect flow of my life, after all. Why should I even listen to you? You can't even take this collar off. However, since you insist on it so hard, I'm going to give you a shot at being my little sister. But I tell you, it won't be easy."

Seeing that little glimmer of hope under a deep, murky and chaotic black sea, Elsee took it hook, bait, and sinker.

"Really? Please! Please! Whatever you say! What do I do to become your little sister, Kami-sama?"

"Nothing. I'll accept you as a little sister for now, but think of it as a probation period. The moment you-"

But she was cut off by a bone crunching bear hug from the demon. "Thank you, Kami-sama!"

"Gah! Gerroff omme!" She complained with a muffled voice, to which Elsee happily obliged. "Before that, I'm going to train you to become hi- I mean the ideal little sister! Now start with cleaning up the house. Make sure every corner is sparkling clean!"

Now there was something Elsee was actually good at. She gave Keiko an informal mock salute, and with the cheeriest smile she could muster, she accepted. "Right away, Kami-sama!"

* * *

><p>O-O<p>

* * *

><p>The first order was supposed to dissuade her, but I guess failing to take the weird broom on her back into consideration was an oversight on my part. Even her cooking, which was visually an atrocious monstrosity at the least, was surprisingly delicious. She must have been telling the truth about the 300 years thing. She certainly doesn't think and act like one, though. Ah, ignorance is bliss.<p>

I was almost impressed… until she caused an explosion with her _broom_ which blew up a wall and the neighboring house with it and gave me indigestion, and one that hurt more than dysmenorrhea at that.

After I got out of the bath, I sent Elsee out on a small errand, on the pretense of testing her little sister material, when I just wanted her out of the house in the meantime. Seriously, if the setup she had forcibly created through ridiculous means wasn't the ideal one, surprising as it was, I would have went out of my way to kick her out of the house. The errand wasn't anything to worry about, either. Even someone as clumsy as that bug-demon could fetch water… from the river a couple of kilometers south of Maijima. Seriously, though, that girl should get herself some common sense.

I stared at the closing credits for Shiki's good route in 'Little Sister Working!' which happens to be a galge. Now why was I playing galge? Oh, right, because I ran out of otome games for the month and the next one won't be out until the following week. I still think galge are just erotic material used by perverted and desperate guys, though. But otome games are different. They are an expression of the pure and clean feelings love between male and female.

Not like such feelings exist in the real world. True 'love' can only exist in fantasies, because in reality, love is just a sugar-coated term for 's why, if the two of us could connect through games, then it could be considered true love. That's what he said.

"Onee-sama! Kami-nee-sama! I'm back with the water!"

"Good. Now go back to the river and pour it back through a straw. And make sure not one drop gets spilled!"

"Yes, Onee-sama!"

_I could get used to this._

* * *

><p><strong>Maijima High<strong>

"Ryoshu had a daughter, who, unlike her father, was a gentle and cute person."

Not paying much attention to the literature lesson at hand, I mulled over the issues I had to resolve currently while playing my games in silence. So, I decided to accept a demon's plea for help in capturing 'runaway spirits,' which reside in the hearts of people… which, by the way, is kind of ironic, since Elsee's a demon and I'm the Caprturing _Goddess,_and holy beings aren't supposed to be on good terms with demons, as far as I know. And I should know. I'm the Capturing Goddess, after all.

It's not like I had any other choice, though, since it was the fastest way to get rid of her in the long run. How many do I have to capture to seal the contract, though? I wonder.

"To my big sister, my Kami-sama… I, Elsee, am very happy that I get to work together with you."

An involuntary action forced me to bang my head on my desk… or was it really that involuntary? One of my classmates, Kosaka whatshisname, continued reciting the letter Elsee passed to him.

"On that note, would it be possible for us to talk by lunchtime? PS. I spilled couldn't hold out long enough last night, so I hope you could forgive me."

Cue face palm.

"Why did you read it aloud?" I heard Elsee's whiny voice saying.

"Aww, it's okay, Katsuragi-chan, I got the message across, didn't I? Now what was that about last night?"

_Ugh. Now I sound like a lesbian pervert who imagines barely-clothed girls falling from the sky. _

The rest of my classmates chimed in. "What happened last night? What happened last night?"

I pressed my hands against my face a little bit harder in response.

_I just have to capture all those loose spirits as quickly as possible, and she'll be gone._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes<strong>

I thought flies were going to be all over the place when I came back... But it turns out some kind souls had it in them to drop their reviews for my story!

Understandably, most of what I got was 'ZOMG only girls get spirits! You suck brain juice, mon!'

About that, I'm kind of hurt about how people would think I would forget _that_. I mean, it's like, basic knowledge for those in the fandom, right? Yes. It is basic knowledge. And I am sorry to tell you people that I already thought of that _weeks_ before I even typed the first letter to my word processor.

But since the manga explains it in the the rich girl archetype capture arc, it should be fitting for me to introduce the reason on the (tentatively) prince archetype capture chapter. I'm thinking of moving it somewhere where it will get more win, but I guess if I don't get it over with quickly enough, people will start saying "ZOMG Soranium is just pretending to have a reason, but actually forgot and is just killing time until that small brain owned by Soranium thinks up of something! How embarrasing! Hahaha!"

I guess I'm exaggerating a bit?

I'm also sorry for accidentally putting in _he_s and _him_s. That's what I get for writing only when sleepy and not having a beta, I guess.

Anyway, I had fun writing this chapter, and again, I am sorry if the improvisation in this chapter was far from optimal. I want this to be more than just a written version of TWGOK with a girl for a protagonist. But if you look real closely, you'll notice the time-bombs I had dropped. Come on. I know you're smart. It's not super-subtle, either, so even if you happen to _be_ dumb as a rock, you'll _still _notice it_._

Anyway, since excessive Author's notes _can _get a story deleted, I should get this over with.

_Onee-sama/Onee-chan_ - Japanese honorifics for Big Sister

_kun_ - Honorific for a close acquaintance, usually used for a male, but can be used for females as well

_moe_ - Term used for qualities that 'turn on' or sexually arouse

I've finally decided against the 2-B Pencils. Well, not completely against, but Elsee won't be in it.

I fixed a small mistake in the previous chapter where I referred to Docrow as a guy. Really, now.

Well, that's enough about what I think. What of you?

Was the characterization believable? Was pacing good? Too cliche? Not cliche enough? Did Keiko's monologues bore you to death? Did I bore you to death? Bad writing style? Unclear language? Annoying writer? Comments? Suggestions? Violent Reactions?

R&R, please! Reviews are the lifeblood of stories, just so you know. Well, actually, criticisms are. So please, if you have the time, don't just say 'Yay! Your story sucked brain juice!', say 'Yay! Your story sucked brain juice! This is because...'

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to ask the most important question of all: Did you enjoy it?

-Soranium

/TCG #


	3. But For Me, It Was Tuesday

This has been delayed long enough, so I'll just leave some regards to the one who did the quality checking for this chapter, **AKAAkira**, and get on with it.

**Disclaimer:** If, say, you haven't been reading this part for the past two chapters, then please be aware that I have no hold on _The World God Only Knows_, because I don't make money from it. That clear enough? I'm allergic to the court, you know, so don't sue me 'cause I'd rather get arrested for murder than copyright infringement.

* * *

><p>"WOW. THIS SCHOOL SURE IS big, Kami-sama! How do you find your way around here?"<p>

I am Katsuragi Keiko, a seventeen year old dating sim player. I'm also the sap who agreed to help some ditzy self-proclaimed demon named Elsee find spirits that fell off hell onto earth.

"There's lots of spare land out here in the country, so a middle school can also be found within the grounds. There's even a university nearby."

"So that's a gymnasium... Wow."

She wasn't even listening to me. Hey, if you're going to ask a question, isn't it simple manners to listen to what the one you asked has to say?

_Why am I doing this again?_

A few seconds of silence went by, and then...

"Well, I was thinking..." she suddenly said.

"You were? I'm having a hard time believing that." I quipped.

"Huh? Did you say something, Onee-sama?"

"I said this is a drag. Why do I need to be your tour guide? You could just get anybody to take you on a trip. You're pretty popular, so they wouldn't think twice about it. This is keeping me from playing my games." And it was true. For a change, the great goddess of otome games had yet to take a glimpse of her PFP for about six minutes already. And since when did I catch the third person syndrome?

"But Kami-nee-sama, I need to talk to you and get to know you more, so this was the best choice I could have made."

Sigh. There was no debating with this girl. Though there are many holes to exploit in her argument, it's hard for me to do so when such an innocent face looks at you and stuff. I hate how I'm such a sissy inside.

"Kami-sama, why are you not using your PSP? Wasn't it some kind of life-support device?"

_Now she's just spiting me_.

"It's PFP, not PSP. PSPs are cheap knockoffs with longer battery lives in exchange for less functionality. Know the difference. Also, why would you come to that conclusion? The PFP is a device that remains underappreciated despite being able to transcend the limits of human logic, and can even destroy, create and connect universes. However, it is not designed to support life, but it somewhat resembles that for me. Games are my soul's air, food, water."

"Well, you were using it all of the time, even during classes, so I thought-"

"Nonsense! Such close-mindedness sickens me. People like you are the reason that this world is rotting! This, everything about this cannot even begin to compare with the magnificence of the infinite macrocosms of games!"

Saying this with my hands held out wide to underline my point, I ignored the pointed stares some students gave me. They can't, and will never understand the beauty of loving something unreachable.

"B-but Kami-nee-sama, I'm not even a person. I'm from hell, remember?"

I relaxed my arms and pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"...I forgot."

"Geez, onee-sama. How could you forget?"

"How could I not? It's not important information for the route."

"There you go with the game talk again. Sigh."

I quickly adopted a stern voice. "Don't let me hear you sigh again."

In response, she quickly straightened and stammered a short "Y-yes, Kami-sama."

The probation period thing was working wonders.

Silence, and then...

"You know, Kami-sama, I noticed that there are lots of girls in the school. Why is that?"

"Well, this was once an all-girls school, but that's all a thing of the past. Years pass, times change, and the girl to boy ratio has changed to 3:2."

"Wow. So this school has such a historical background..." So just what in the world is so historical about turning co-ed? "A place where virile young men and healthy maidens gather, huh? It's like the perfect place for loose souls."

Huh? That statement had alarming implications... "So having sex-craving young people around is good for them? They're pretty indiscriminate."

Elsee blushed from the crude statement, but quickly recovered. "T-that's true. Um, uh, you see, the loose souls get reborn as human infants."

"Really now? Well, wouldn't it be easier for them if they just went for women directly? I mean, what if they pick a man who isn't attractive enough to score?"

"Actually, it's mostly unheard of for spirits to enter men, but the loose souls grow in power over time as they hibernate inside the human they reside in."

"Ah, so it's like putting them on a steady supply of DC?"

"Um, maybe? Sorry, Nee-sama, but I have no idea what this dee-see is."

"I see, then ignore it and carry on." This was getting interesting, actually. It's developing like one of those plots in fantasy games where you defeat a dragon and do the pure deed of love under its carcasses... except it was utterly crappy compared to those games, seeing as this was reality. And of course, reality sucks. You know. The usual.

"Um, right. Well, when a loose soul grows in power, they get restless and make themselves more pronounced by causing supernatural side effects on the victim. However, if they are allowed to grow anymore... they... uh..."

"They what?"

"They consume the person and use their flesh to come back to life."

_game_: Retrieving driver details...  
>SpcMig: No speech endpoint migration settings found 0x2 <em>

I couldn't come up with a good answer. I honestly couldn't give a damn if the people of reality become meat puppets because they don't repopulate like bunnies, which, by the way, would make their children meat puppets if they do manage to do so anyway, but heads will roll if I don't give them a hand. I didn't want that to happen, considering it's on my head; I can't exactly play a game with flattened shoulders.

"So where are we going again?" She asked after another short burst of energetic awkward silence.

Thank you and your topic changing powers, Elsee. "To the outdoor bakery in front of the school. As much as I hate to say it, I still inhabit a human body, and as such, I must nourish myself with carbohydrates, sugars, proteins and lipids to keep myself alive, so that I may continue to play games in peace. However, the food in the school cafeteria is expensive, and I find it a bad investment to purchase any item from their menu when the nutritional value of a three-course meal is inferior to darjleeng tea."

The buggy demon, for the nth time that afternoon, ignored the conversation again, salivating as she looked on at the wrapped loaves of fried buckwheat omelet bread.

"Wow, it looks so delicious..."

"Calm down, ya midgets! Wes got more than enough _pan_ to stuff into yer pretty mouths! And 'tis Filling Tuesday t'day, so y'all get more taste from me products!"

Even though I come here every time mom's too busy to make me _bento_ and I'm too immersed in gaming to make my own, it's still quite surreal to witness such a large crowd of students pushing and shoving each other to get a taste of the affordable nutritional item. The food is actually quite overrated; it's not as good as this crowd makes it look. I can vouch for that. I could do better. Heck, I could probably outclass my mom at anything besides tea brewing. It's not rare for me to run out of games, after all, considering how limited the otome game industry is, as compared to those dirty galge that just lie about in sewers and probably grow on trees.

The quality didn't stop the students from doing their damnedest to get their fair share, though, as made evident by the resounding shouts, slamming, and du-

"People, stop making such a ruckus. It's nothing to argue about, whatever it is!" With a cool and collected voice that held just a tinge of arrogance and overwhelming levels of pride, which were telltale signs of classy upbringing, a cleanly shaven young man with blonde locks approached the crowd with a gentle smile edged with just a dash of menace and a hint of disdain. Average in stature, dignified in action. Everything about this guy screamed 'rich kid.' He could have a large billboard with lavish neon lights flashing the message 'Hey, I'm rich!' following him around and it wouldn't make a difference. He sure knew how to make a first impression, though- no, because I wasn't impressed.

Beside him was a stern-faced woman, short black hair tied up in a simple ponytail that still managed to reach her shoulder. She wore a western style maid getup, complete with white frilly lace apron over a blue and violet dress that showed off her curves very well. She also wore a hat, which was odd, since maids usually donned headbands to match the uniform.

Upon his arrival, the noise died down and devolved into hushed chatter.

"Isn't that..."

"Oh, it's Aoyama-san..."

Then came the fangirl screams.

"Kyaa~! It's Yomi-sama!"

"You're so awesome, Aoyama-san!" Oh god, he has a fanboy. This is messed up.

"Yomi-sama, please sign my soba bread!"

"Please, ladies. Adding ink to bread will spoil it." He held out his hand while wearing a bashful smile, all the while hiding the disgust which, in hindsight, should have been transparent. I have barely an iota of understanding in terms of what goes through the minds of these girls of the real, but it must be something really distracting or blinding if they can't notice how this guy feels negatively about them. At least he has the decency to keep up a gentleman facade, despite it being extra fragile. Hey, what works works, right?

"So... what is the big deal with soba bread? Is it that good? Morita?" Okay, the guy needed a good lesson on common sense; he looked genuinely puzzled. Just get one yourself, you nad've brat!

He turned to address the one dressed in helper robes beside him, making it clear that she was his servant and she was called Morita. "Soba bread is actually quite fulfilling, _wagaarujisama_." W-wow. Such mastery of the title... this woman deserves a medal; she said that without missing a beat, while it would take me more twice the time she took to say that, probably near thrice if I stutter. She was clearly experienced. "However, its target market is the people who have a narrow niche in monetary expenditure, so its inferiority to your regular daily supplements is a given."

"Ah, I see, I see. Then I guess I'll take one for kicks." Finally. Leave it to the rich kid to make a big scene just for an entrance. Yomi strode towards the stand as his rabid fangirl club pushed everyone aside to give him way. It was a surreal sight, as though the red sea was splitting in half dead smack in front of me.

Well, in front of the tree I was hiding behind. Wait, I was hiding? Since when was I hid- oh, right. Elsee's little skull hairclip went DORO DORO again, so we had to hide to keep it from being too noisy, which just happens to garner unwarranted attention, and start scanning the vicinity for prospective soul carriers. Well, since Elsee said that "everyone in the default scanning range of the tracker are clumped in that small group, Kami-nee-sama," then we had to observe the place and find the culprit.

"Awrigh, young lad, here go yers omelet-soba bread. That be a hundred yens," the bread stand guy said with a bit too much enthusiasm, which went down the drain when the maid tried to hand him a ten thousand yen bill. "Ten kay? I don't got no coins fer them bills, li'l missy. Ya sure ye ain't got nothin' less big?" The vendor answered, slightly ticked.

"Ah, really? Well, sorry about that, but I just don't know how to handle coins, you know? Never touched them since birth." He explained this with a small shy grin, which contained a very slight but unmistakable arrogance. The guy was good with facades, but I'm beyond those now, so eh. Just one of the perks of being a goddess. He mulled over the situation for a little longer before making a face that screamed 'eureka.' "I know! Sir, would you mind if I made you distribute the bread, a student each? Well, as much as the money I gave can buy, anyway. Oh, and if there's any extra money, you can keep the change. I'll take the extra bread with me."

The man gave an understanding nod while almost glowing in joy. "Well, kid, this here moneys more than enough, so I'mma take ya up on that li'l offer of yers. ALRIGHT, YA'LL HEARD THAT! LINE UP BEHIND 'IM, YA MIDGETS!"

"Yes! Yomi-sama, you're so cool!"

"Dude, free bread!"

"Yomi-sama, please at least sign the wrappers!"

"Dude, free bread!"

"It's so like Aoyama-san to do something like this. Isn't he just dreamy?"

"Dude, free bread!"

I took the announcement as an opportunity to enter the battlefield. It was painfully obvious who the carrier was, even without Elsee's verification. A little confirmation wouldn't hurt, though. "So... who has the loose soul?" I asked while pulling her across the pavement. Well, some free food wouldn't really hurt, right? Well, as long as they're not like the monstrosity from last night (which actually turned out to be a feast for the tongue, except it gave me quite a nasty indigestion plus heartburn attack not moments later).

"It's that guy," she replied, pointing to the golden-haired Aoyama Koyomi. I figured as much.

"I see. Then let's get a bite to eat before we get cracking."

A random voice from the crowd was heard whining from somewhere in the newly-formed line, which me and Elsee had lucked out in getting spots somewhere in the middle.

"Man, if only I was a little more like Aoyama..."

Of course, this just had to fail to escape the young man's ears.

"Oh, it's easy, really. Just become rich!" He smiled after replying with a booming voice, looking to the rest of the world oblivious to the fact that becoming rich wasn't a walk in the park, while it was plain to see that he simply reveled in the feeling of being above other people, so much so that he took refuge in arrogance while masking it with ignorance. It's unbelievable how elitists call these kinds of people 'complex' when they're so simple and easy to read.

Oh well. Food now, conquest later.

* * *

><p>"Koyomi Aoyama, 16 years old. Member of the class 2-A. Kami-nee-sama, you're in the same year level!"<p>

"Yeah, yeah. Any more info?"

"Well, according to this, he's the heir to the Aoyama zaibatsu. He was born on January 2. He was born on January 2."

"Well, that birthday won't do us any good for the moment. We don't exactly have the time to wait that long before capturing the spirit, right?" And what came next was…

"I had to say it twice because it's so important!"

"Elsee, where the heck did you learn memes from?"

I bit into the free bread, courtesy of "Yomi-sama," as I wrote down potential scenarios from games... which was actually becoming quite a task. Mmm, this is good. So I guess it was no lie when people said food tastes better when it's free.

"Elsee, do you know the flaw in the otome game industry?" Out of whim, and maybe some frustration, I asked.

"He was pretty kind, tho-huh? What was that, onee-sama?" Obviously preoccupied, the bug demon seemed to have learned her lesson and quickly snapped her attention at me.

"The flaws in the otome game industry. The thing is, a good fraction of these games are simply fujoshi bait, with nothing in it but erotic material. Well, okay, yaoi media could be categorized into galge considering they have a male lead, which is also stupid since the term 'galge' itself was supposed to mean a game with girls, but really, would straight men play a game where guys do 'it' with other guys? Traps are an exception, but if it's an all on BL game, then I believe it can be categorized into the side of games with a female market in mind.

"Another good chunk of the industry comes from role reversals. By this, I mean inverted galge. The story and art is changed; the lead is turned into a girl, while the capture targets are turned into boys. However, more often than not, these games turn out unrealistic, because the stories are made especially for a boy hitting on girls, not the other way around. These things happen when the dev team is too lazy to give a damn about the outcome of the story, which is, frankly, mediocre. The bad to good ratio is slowly shrinking, though, thanks to the emergence of capable story editors.

"There are a lot more minor categories, like mindless bishounen fanservice games, but the last important one could be called the needle in the haystack, the cream of the crop. These games, while rare, are realistic, touching, and don't feel forced in any way. Games with hair-raising soundtracks, heart-warming and hard-hitting plots, and detailed CGs are prime examples of these."

"Wow, Kami-sama. I never knew you could give such a long monologue."

"Yeah, me neither. Now go get me some water, I feel thirsty," I commanded before taking another bite off the free bun. Mmm, still good. If only I had some tea. The law of diminishing marginal utility just went to hell. Ahaha, hell. Well, if it's full of idiots like Elsee, then it deserves the name.

"Yes, Kami-sama!" She made another mock salute, which I was used to by now, before going. Hmmm... Maybe I should make her go to some training camp just to get her to get the saluting thing right. I could do that with relative ease. Its incorrectness is almost an insult to the navy, but I guess her cuteness more than makes up for that. Sometimes.

I leaned back on the chair as Elsee left for the vending machine, which I knew she had no idea how to operate. Messing with her is kind of fun, especially when she finds out and gets flustered about it. It's also funny when she's blissfully oblivious to the fact that I'm messing with her, though, so it's all good.

This case was actually easier than it's letting on... a bit too easy, if you asked me. Something was off, and I knew it. It would be a bad idea to charge in and act rashly, even though I'm really good at doing that. If I can't do that, then the next best thing I'm able to do would be to gather information, and that's exactly what I was going to do after a brief preemptive strike to test the waters and confirm my theory.

Now to pick out a proper confession...

* * *

><p>Okay, epic fail. I sure didn't expect Morita to go all GALACTIC PUNT on me before I even got close to Koyomi. That's one protective battle maid.<p>

Well, since I couldn't establish contact today, I guess I'll try to do it again the next day.

And that maid is going down.

* * *

><p>A unique flavor emerged from the sea of my cup.<p>

"Mom, what kind of tea is this?" Supposedly, today was lotus tea day, but I never did get what type of tea she was going to serve correctly.

"It's Artichoke tea, honey."

Artichoke tea? Are you kidding me? That's just cheating! And what the heck is Artichoke! Is that some kind of place where it's cold and people strangle each other? I mean, come on! Artichoke won't even pass for a Pokemon name! Okay, maybe it will, if that Haxor-whatsitsname dragon type is any indication, but you probably get the point.

By the way, the first thing that came to mind was a muscular ice bird with four arms.

Elsee sighed in satisfaction as she put down her now half-empty cup. "Ahh, it's good! Thanks... mom."

"Elsee, you're so cute! You should learn from her and show more gratitude, Kei-chan." Mom crushed Elsee in a hug that bearly fazed her, returning it with just as much fervor... wait, did I just make a bear pun in my monologue? Gosh, I really shouldn't have played that game... Curse you, Kuma!

"Mom!"

"Elsee!"

"Mom!"

"Elsee!"

Now they're doing shout-outs. Screw you, television. Screw you.

Oh hey, this tea is pretty good. Never would have figured.

* * *

><p>"The internet is really really great...<p>

"For p-"

Wait, what? Silence neighbor, or I'll make Elsee blow your house up with her almighty broom, like what happened to the other neighbor's house!

"I have a fast connection, so I don't have to wait...

"For p-"

Okay, ignoring. Annoying earworm about pictures aside, I did a small background check on the Aoyamas via, well, the internet.

"There's always some new site…"

Ah, finally. Tune out complete. It turns out that Aoyama Kouta, Koyomi's dad, had sold all his holdings to this Heisei guy, then was found dead in a car crash a few weeks later, but was diagnosed to have died from a heart attack. The media has been keeping the incident on hushed tones, which suggests dirty dealings from behind. It's been around a year since this had happened. Hmm... It's quite fishy, if you ask me. There was certainly more to this, and there were obviously shadows on play backstage. This was likely another crime brought about by greed, not the most unique of motives, but a very persuading one.

Eh, who gives a damn? I sure don't. I'm no speaker of the dead, golden fairy, or the world's most powerful contractor.

I'm the goddess of games. It may not sound as awesome as theirs, but a title's a title, and I am proud of it.

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 1<strong>

"Hah? So they're poor now?" Elsee asked in a voice much louder than my liking, attracting glances from the passersby.

"Quiet, you. Well, they're not poor. Well off at most, but certainly not the rich sugar daddy he makes himself to be."

There, a town. Now to unload, sell, and buy equipment. Since there's an upcoming boss fight, I'll need more potions...

"Ah. It's not obvious with the way he acts, though... Is it really fine for him to be living such a lavish lifestyle when he doesn't have the cash for it?"

Wow, Elsee's starting to use moderately complex words. I must be rubbing off on her. Now, stealing... hmm, summonstones... Oooh, Valefor! They have that here? Gotta add that to the FAQ.

"Well, he's doing it, so who are you to judge?" All right, that's enough gil burning. Off to the inn we go.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Kami-nee-sama. But still, knowing this, it's hard not to feel some pity for him. I mean, he seems like such a nice guy, and..."

We passed through the school gates without much fanfare. I tuned out Elsee's ranting as I saved the game. That boss is so going down now that I have Flare.

* * *

><p>Apparently, there was no need to bring the maid down since she wasn't even by Aoyama's side today. This makes it easier for me to...<p>

"Aoyama Koyomi, I challenge you to a kendo match! Winner gets to make the loser do one thing, whatever it may be."

"Wait, what?" Typical response.

"Wait, what?" Typical response.

Oh, the second one was Elsee, by the way, who wholeheartedly believed that I was going to confess today.

"Don't worry, I won't hold back."

Yomi tried to regain his composure after realizing how he was gawking uncharacteristically.

"Hahaha, a kendo match plus penalty game? I don't see the point, young lady. After all, a real man does not hit girls."

I went near him and whispered something which made him turn purple.

"A-alright, I accept," he relented with a grimace.

* * *

><p>"Point! Aoyama gets the match!"<p>

Wow, the guy can move fast with proper motivation. However, he was less than contented with the results.

"Why? You didn't even move! I cannot accept such an outcome."

Technically, he was moving so fast that I couldn't react, but eh, I'll take the opportunity.

"W-well, you see… I have no idea how to wield a shinai, and, uh…"

I hesitated.

"What? You have no idea how to sword-fight? Then why would you challenge me? Surely you must have a valid reason."

"Uh, because I kinda..." I pushed my index fingers together and pouted for maximum effect.

"You what?" he pushed, still incredulous from the recent curb-stomping he didn't expect to give.

"...I just wanted to talk to you, that's why!" I exclaimed, then turned by the heel and ran like a clumsy girl out of the dojo, leaving a red-faced Yomi behind.

_Perfect._

"Hey! Leave the gear! Those are rentals!"

* * *

><p>After getting Elsee to return the threads to a less than pleased club president, then finishing the preparations for the day, we were more than ready to sit back and play more... in my case, anyway. Elsee seemed content with just lounging around after a small bout of tidying up. Well, by tidying up, I meant a brutal extraction of each piece of lint in the cafe; her concept of cleaning was awfully broken in a good way. I actually started to wonder if the broom she held was some kind of distinction or status symbol for the ranks of hell's Keepers of Sanitation.<p>

"Elsee, were you able to tag his shoes like I told you to?"

"Yes, Kami-sama."

"Good. Now we have surveillance on him. Man, the real sure is inconvenient. Normally, there would be blips telling us where the guys are."

"And that's normal?"

"In games."

"Figures. So, Kami-sama, was any of that necessary? I mean, you told me you were just going to confess."

"And that I did."

"No, no, I mean, couldn't you have just done it like a normal person and given him some homemade cookies?"

"That wouldn't leave an impression, which is the primary goal. It might not be obvious since he tends to act like a gigolo, but if you observe him closely, you'll see that he's had enough of girls who are all over him just because he has the looks and the money. Well, used to have, in the latter's case. I'm sure he's been used to that treatment since childhood. Anyway, I had to make it clear that I wanted to get to know him, so I went through all that trouble to do just that.

"Another reason is to level the playing field. After all, someone who is used to living the big life tends to look down on other people. I basically hurled myself up to his level today, so all is good and well."

"You hurled yourself up his level? What do you mean by that, Kami-sama?"

"Guess what I told him in a hushed voice."

"Um, the tuna is overcooked?"

"Nope."

"El psy congroo?"

"Try again."

"Er... meet me at Room 104 later?"

"Seriously? Elsee, Aoyama is blonde, literally, but I still think you take the cake. I said 'you'll be late for your part-time job if you don't hurry.'"

"So you blackmailed him?"

"Nothing of the sort. I just needed to establish the fact that I knew his secret. No one at the academy knows that Yomi is poor, because no one has heard about it. In other words, this is something that only he and I know. You see, Elsee, secrets shared between two people act like super glue when they're too far away from each other. So when I said that, the two of us started to share a world of our own, bound by his inflexibility with money."

"Ah, I see. You were talking about games again."

"What else do I talk about? It's my everything, so I'll stick with it and strike!"

"Keiko! Quit negatively influencing Elsee with your game theory!"

"Mom! Game theory is for business! This is game _logic._"

"Don't know, don't care! Elsee, come here. You don't need to have anything to do with Keiko's games."

Well, technically, she was sent here because I was roped into a devil's deal, so nothing you say will keep her uninvolved.

"Mom!"

"Elsee!"

"Mom!"

"Elsee!"

_Their flames of youth need more kindling._

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 2<strong>

I sat on my game room's recliner, staring at the sample outfit the café's owner had let us bring home, which I hung by the rack of XC2s, short for X-Cube 2, which doesn't really need an acronym since it's so short by default, in my honest opinion. I say us because I had somehow roped Elsee in to suffer with me, which was quite easy actually.

I just told her that it's the duty of the younger sister to share the pain of her big sister in earth. And since she's a sister-on-probation, she had no room for objections.

Earlier, Elsee and I really had no time to examine the costume meticulously, what with Koyomi being in the same year level as us, and, well, everybody in the same year level gets to leave at the same time, and what little time we had was made up by Elsee's superb nauseating flight skills. Now that the time pressure is gone, I took a moment to see exactly what I had been wearing for the past three and a half hours while taking a sip from my cup of barley tea. Yeah, and I was so sure she'd serve green today, too. Oh well. I'm never the winner.

First is a cream button-up blouse with a turtleneck collar knotted with a string that had matched our hair color above a sky blue bi-layered skirt that just covers the knees, topped with a vest slash corset with a color theme which matched the skirt. The vest wasn't tight enough to feel constricting, but it did enough to emphasize the womanly curves as well as push up the breasts to make it seem fuller. The frills were for show, too, and somehow they stuck out in such a way that they wouldn't disturb the wearer at all. It pains me to say this, but the designer had really thought this thing through and through. Now, it normally wouldn't be hard to say so, but there was one problem: the designer was real.

We were given the choice to wear wigs, which we both declined, deciding to style our own hair instead. It took a lot less trouble thanks to Elsee's garment, and her hair was up in drills (which somehow worked despite her black hair) while mine was in a braid not a minute later.

We were then made to pick cosplay themes; Elsee was quick to grab the demon girl set, and that left me with the other one: the matching white fluffy cat ears and tail complete with bell. Elsee's consisted of a rubber black tail with a triangular pointed end, an exaggeratedly large pitchfork and elven ears. Oh, and some eyeliner. She was also forced to change hairstyles, since her drills didn't really scream 'demon girl' at all, and reverted to her usual, but with two tufts standing out, giving the illusion of horns, which Elsee had a staggering lack of. After all, horns have always been a trait that humans imagined demons to have, even in the distant past. I decided to keep my glasses on, since I can't really see much without it. All the rest did was to approve, saying that it would improve customer satisfaction with my meganeko charm... Yes, just one k, not two. They were being clever. With the rate things are going, people might as well start calling me otameganeko.

We were given gloves that functioned both as protection from harmful externalities, and made the outfit stand out even more. It also had the same kind of convenient frills as the dress, and used the same string as on the blouse for knotting, to keep the glove on at all times. Then we were asked to wear white knee socks with a single black stripe near the top, and sandals with straps like the one Elsee wore most of the time, but a tad bit lower.

Lastly, as a cafe tradition, we were made to wear aprons around the waist, to cover the skirt. In reality, they served as nothing more than ornaments, but theoretically, they were there to keep stains from the skirts. Mine had a checkered black and white design, which was quite plain when compared to the rest of the outfit, but they somehow complemented each other. Elsee had a plain white one, though I felt somewhat disappointed since it didn't seem to match the demon girl theme. I let it rest, though, since she was smiling like a little child.

We were given pet names according to the existing list of potential nicknames, and the next two happened to be Keiko and Risa. Of course, it would be stupid to choose a pet name that's the same as my real name, so I took the other, and Elsee took Keiko. And thus, Risa-nyan was born. Oh, we were supposed to pick out a "catch phrase for the day" taken from games and anime, but due to the lack of time, the two of us had to pick something randomly out of a jar. I had yet to hear Elsee's, but mine turned out to be "Spellcard! Love Sign: Master Spark!" It was a lucky thing that I knew where that came from and how to say it. Too bad I wasn't dressed like a witch. Too bad indeed.

All in all, the get-up was decent, save the cosplay part. I'd wear it every day if the only alternative was that cheerleader uniform.

I returned my attention to the six screens; I needed to make up for lost time, after all. While it's true that my backlog never grows too big because of the sheer lack of bountifulness of games that star females in search of true love, the fact still remains that they have no meaning unless I accomplish them with a method of my preference, like with the loose soul business; it holds no meaning lest I accomplish it through my method of choice, which is to capture real men using game trends and algorithms. Completely clearing games and making sure that nothing is left undone before anybody else while still enjoying it happens to be my method of preference in gaming, so I'll stick to it.

The next day was going to be a long day, after all.

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day-<strong> oh wait, I've yet to talk about what exactly happened that day, did I? I almost forgot. Well, here it is.

* * *

><p>I dipped my head as low as my pride would allow it, which was pretty low actually, considering I have no pride for the real.<p>

"Welcome to Mukyu (name subject to change), _Okyaku-sama_. Please allow me, Risa-nyan, to- GYAA! _Okyaku-sama_, please remember to always exercise respect and tact in Mukyu (name subject to change)!" God, that (name subject to change) is annoying, but apparently, it was really part of the name. Hah, people these days and their crazy ideas. Heh, if somebody made a story about what's happening to me but with a male lead, I'll know the world has gone down the drain.

The 'GYAA-'? Oh, that. Well, that happened because the customer had suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and was shaking me quite rigorously, staring at me incredulously as though he had seen his idol Bruce Lee, except he was eyeing me warily which was, to his merit, fairly challenging to do as he was so close to me. "Why are you here, stalker girl!"

"I started working here!"

And that I did. Who would have thought it; Aoyama Koyomi worked as a chef in a cosplay cafe. Mom would surely kill me for "driving the competition forward" or something of the sort. Yeah right, like the 'competition' was ever a problem. Not once did we have a customer that never came back again, so I'm quite assured of how well the blandly named Cafe Grandpa is faring compared to this... okay, I'll stop there before I blurt out things that will ruin your day, or ruin it again if it already is.

The perpetrator continued his tirade, apparently unsatisfied. "Oh, so you're here to rub it in some more, then!" His grip tightened.

Cue pain. "Ow!"

Yomi's grip quickly turned to mush, his face started to show signs of a blush, and I made it look like I was trying to regain my balance but fell over anyway. Always works. I fell to the floor, still holding the restaurant menu, head to the side and legs spaced just enough to preserve my decency, though a little more would have been a little too much.

_Fan service shot, successful!_

To this, Yomi blushed even further, and was probably resisting the urge to peek by looking away, but still extended a hand to help me up. He was still trying to be a gentleman even after losing his cool. I, of course, accepted the offer, smiled my thanks, and turned to lead him into the establishment with a "right this way, sir." To this, he raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about? You knew that I work here, right?"

I put up a shocked facade. "Eh? You do? Um... could you possibly be the legendary Lemon-chan that Mittan was talking about?"

His voice rose. "WHAT? NOT A CHANCE! What do you take me for, some kind of perverted transvestite?"

Trying my best to flinch, I stammered. "I-I thought there was n-no harm in a-asking… I just r-really w-wanted to get to kn-know you b-better... I j-just wanted to talk t-to y-you... B-but if that is w-what you wish, th-then that's f-fine too..." In midsentence, I transformed the nervous stammering into tearful stammering, complete with sniff effects.

Hah, this guy obviously had no experience with tearful people of the opposite sex, as he lost his cool (again) quite quickly (again). "H-hey, stop! I command you to stop! I didn't mean it like that! And what do you mean you don't know that I work here?"

Cue sniff. "The only j-job I knew you h-had was being a t-traffic enforcer... I once s-saw you working wh-while mom was d-driving me to my a-aunt's..." That's a lie, of course.

"A-ah, I see. A misunderstanding, then. Will you forgive me for my previous rash behavior?"

I shook my head, smiling slightly and rubbing my eyes with one hand. "It's alright. I never expected to see you here... but I'm really glad that I did. And that we could talk like this. I thought that match was the last that I'd see of you, and I'd botched that meeting, but I'm really glad that I was mistaken." I bowed. "I'm looking forward to working with you, Aoyama-san." I looked up and smiled a shy smile.

He blushed a shy blush and bowed back, more to hide it than to respond, really. "T-the same, though I'd appreciate it if you don't call me Aoyama..."

"Eh? What do I call you, then?"

He rose from the bow and scratched at his head a bit. The more he opens up, the more his rich guy facade is breaking. "You pick."

I clamped my hands together, while somehow still holding the menu, and grinned contentedly. "It's a pleasure, then, Ko-chan."

Now we had another private link. Perfect. I quickly turned around and walked away to avoid any objections from him.

"Katsuragi... huh?" I heard him mumble, and I could almost _hear_ him smile. I don't recall giving him my name though, so his knowledge of it was definitely a good sign.

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 3<strong>

I sat in the classroom attracting quite a lot of stares and a lot more adoration than I was used to. If I was reading those stares correctly, they ranged from "was she always this hot?" and "how does she get away with all this stuff?" The teachers were acting oddly, too. Kodama, the Engrish teacher who was currently on the losing side of a bet which involved test scores with me, simply gave me a pat on the head, shook his in disdain and walked away, then continued with his lesson, instead of the usual 'slam the book at Katsuragi's pretty head' ritual when before declaring a pop quiz (which I always get perfect marks from). He probably thought I finally had too many screws loose. Nikaido didn't even spare a glance, which was odd since she usually directs a good chunk of her useless elementary questions at me.

One would think that a school such as ours would be strict regarding the dress code, but nobody gave a damn about me wearing a complete maid uniform in class while PFPing as usual. Well, it's been doing me a load of good; I should probably do it more often.

Yesterday's outfit wouldn't serve this purpose well, so I had Elsee make a more suiting getup with her garment. What made it all possible was actually a chance meeting from the previous day. In fact, it was blind luck that led me to being the one who served Morita, who was in full lame disguise mode, complete with shades and an overcoat. She was also wearing a fake moustache. Can you believe it? For a talented maid, she sure lacked talent in the art of being clandestine. Sakuya is still number one, then.

She had recognized me as the one she had punted the other day and apologized for it in a noncommittal way, which was amazing since she was the first person I'd met that was 'noncommittal' while apologizing, and that includes NPCs. That's probably pretty hard to pull off, especially because you're usually noncommittal when somebody asks you for something, not when you ask somebody for something. She had asked me to return a box, containing her uniform, to Koyomi. I followed her wish obediently after she left, but not before opening the package and having Elsee commit it to memory... followed by me taking pictures of it for the occasion that Elsee forgot what the outfit looked like, which was highly likely. I then left it in the break room table and stuck a post-it that said "To Ko-chan~ XOXO." Hah, the look on his face was probably priceless. Well, maybe if I had taken pictures, it wouldn't be priceless, since I could sell it for some good amount of yen each, if his reputation was anything to judge from...

Speaking of Koyomi, after our encounter at the entrance, we never got another chance to talk, thanks to my valiant evasion efforts, and I made a point of leaving right away so it could stay that way. I didn't exactly have the time of my life at Mukyu (name subject to change), but it wasn't that bad for a change of pace.

So... why did I go to school in a maid getup again? Oh, right...

* * *

><p><strong>A few hours ago…<strong>

Koyomi greeted me with a nod. "Good morning, Katsuragi-san."

"Good morning, Ko-chan," I responded, making sure to stress each syllable. His left eye twitched at the pet name, but he managed to hold his shaky smile together. That blue-haired guy who knew everything about his workmates probably made fun of him for the box after work.

"It seems we have some mighty fine weather today. Don't you think so, Katsuragi-san?"

"I certainly do, Ko-chan."

"In fact, the atmosphere is so heartwarming that I think not walking to school would be quite a waste. Don't you think so, Katsuragi-san?"

"I believe the weather is perfect for a quick drive to school, Ko-chan."

"Really? But walking calms the mind, and it is a conventional physical exercise as well, so walking would be better than driving. Don't you think so, Katsuragi-san?"

"Well, Ko-chan, if you really insist on walking, I guess I could just walk with you, so that I would receive the benefits of this walking exercise that you speak of."

"Well, normally, I would have no trouble with that, but Katsuragi-san, I have but two questions."

"What is it, Ko-chan?"

"Why the heck are you wearing something that looks like a carbon copy of Morita's uniform? And why is there a black car behind you?"

"Well, Ko-chan, yesterday, it had been brought to my attention that your maid had relinquished her position as your personal servant, so I decided to take it upon myself to be your new one!"

"Hah?"

"I even went the extra mile and got you a driver as well!"

"Oh, sweet Neptune…"

* * *

><p>Anyways, the more events, the better, and since I'm going with the stalker approach, I might as well go all out with it.<p>

I won't go into a detailed explanation of how the persuasion went, because it involved [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] fnord [REDACTED]. It wasn't as exciting as you'd think it was. Elsee disguised herself as a driver and created a car with her garment… But heavens to Betsy, I am never riding any vehicle with a demon driver again. I stopped counting the number of fire hydrants the car sent flying after the thirteenth shook the car, landing Koyomi and I in the same position I found myself with Yuma last time. We didn't talk about it again... which, truth be told, wasn't saying much, since we rarely did. I usually just look at him while putting on my best 'observe' face.

So yeah, that's pretty much it. At some point during the commute, he must have resigned himself to his fate, because when we got to the front gates, he let me open the door for him, giving a kind of professional nod when I bowed as he passed. I closed the door after him, and let Elsee drive somewhere without witnesses as I told her to, while uttering a short and silent prayer for the safety of innocent pedestrians. It would technically be my fault if Elsee hits anybody, and I certainly didn't want that kind of blood on my hands, as well as any other kind of blood, for that matter. Butchering chickens was traumatic enough as it was.

Our walk to the main high school building did cause quite an uproar, though, but nothing that couldn't be handled. None of them had the guts to directly question either of us, after all, and the most they could do was to give side comments. Heh, wimps. And they have the heart to bully me.

I then broke from his side once we were in front of his classroom, then I made my way to mine, which was conveniently located just beside it. And that's when the stares started.

What is it with men and maid fetishes, I wonder?

* * *

><p>So when I went to work, I unwittingly picked the red apron, and thus…<p>

"Sir, here's your large latte and bucket of fries. Please enjoy, nyan."

A toy arrow then hit me on the head, and I promptly collapsed.

The employee closest to me reacted quite promptly. "You killed Risa!"

"You bastards!" everybody else who was serving on the floor chimed.

If you're going to ask, I'm still working on the same establishment, except it's now called Kenny (name subject to change). The name really was subject to change. Who would have thought? I still think the (name subject to change) has got to go, though. And Koyomi was chuckling behind the counter. Oh the humanity.

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 6<strong>

It was a Sunday. I was playing a game. Elsee and I were enjoying a sundae each. Well, she was. I was busy being torn between the Shinjuurou and Kihei routes.

Oh, and I finally encouraged Elsee to go out with a more normal getup. She was wearing a simple print shirt that said 'mustard' over short shorts that attracted man-stare like a black hole. I even managed to make her wear a normal pair of flip-flops. She wouldn't let go of the skull accessory, though, and for good measure too. I wasn't too keen to the idea of finding other loose cannons while I was already working on one, though, so I thought it was a pain. Oh wait, I meant loose soul. Loose soul. Right. Still, it's unimportant to the route, so it's better off forgotten.

It was supposedly my off day, and while the past three days weren't eventful enough to deserve mention, I'd say I had done well enough to nearly max out Koyomi's love points. That was pretty tiring to do, though, and I'd been suffering from game withdrawal because of it, which would probably explain my desperate multi-tasking predicament.

So, of course, nobody can blame me if I don't notice someone before they grab me by the arm and drag me out of the serene scene, right?

I decided to play along, giving a sidelong glance that told Elsee 'stay' quite pointedly. "Ah, Ko-chan. Did you miss me?"

"Save it. It's payday today, remember? And don't get the wrong idea, the boss just asked me if I could come and get you. It's not like I volunteered to do it or anything." Ah, what is it with this country and tsunderes? Do they grow on trees here?

"Oh? It is?" Elsee, who was so stupid she misinterpreted a clear 'go away' with 'let's go,' chimed in.

"Ah, hello Irma-san. Well, part-timers receive their pay weekly in _ _ _ _ (name subject to change) since they tend to come and go very quickly, while regulars receive theirs in a bi-weekly manner." I must say, I'm still amazed at how these people say _ _ _ _ so masterfully, going so far as including it in a sentence.

Oh, right. Our workmates didn't know that Elsee and I were siblings because I had her introduce herself as Elsie Ruth Irma, an English immigrant, to everybody at work. The garment of hers was quite the gadget; it could forge official papers in a flash! Anyways, we had to introduce her as that since… wait, I don't actually remember why anymore.

"Kami-tsuragi-san," she called, amending her mistake halfway because of my glare, "here's your ice cream."

Right. We were pretending to be just friends, and she was pretending to attend another school since it would ruin the painstakingly-hard-to-set-up-in-the-real scenario that only I and Koyomi know of his secret. It's an integral part of the capture, after all.

"Kamitsuragi-san? That's a weird nickname…" Hmm, I guess I'll just go with Kihei's route first, since his problem seems a lot more complex than Shinjuurou's…

"No, that's not a nickname. She just stuttered. Right, Irma-san?" No, but the way Shinjuurou acts shows that there's something interesting brewing.

"A-ah, hai." Oh well, I guess I should just pick randomly for now and work on the other route later…

"Mm, I see. Anyhow, let us make haste. Time is not on our side."

"You know, Ko-chan, I can get there myself." Cue blush and reluctant release. "And why the rush? I was actually saving that for later." Actually, I had completely forgotten about it. It's not like I needed the money anyway.

"The first five to get theirs receive some packs of fresh vegetables."

"Oh, I see." Despite still going with the silly charade he keeps up at school, he showed a surprisingly efficient ability to budget his time and how to get the most out of things. He was actually shuffling four part-time jobs, and uses his time at school to sleep his heart out.

"_I was walking through the city streets, and a man walks up to me and hands me the latest en-_"

"Hello? Mom?"

If you're wondering what just happened, Aoyama's phone rang, and he answered it. That's what happened.

I couldn't hear what was going on, but from the look on his face, and how his pale face had gone paler, I had an inkling of what was going on. Something bad just happened.

This was made evident by him running off to who knows where frantically, without even turning and saying goodbye.

I held the bug demon, who was about to follow Koyomi, by the hand. She turned to me, and I shook my head, still facing the direction where Koyomi had long since vanished from.

"Elsee."

"Kami-sama, shouldn't we follow him?" Gah! Dead end? This game is messed! How the heck does going to the church lead to a dead end, anyway?

"No, it's fine. Just let him be. If my guess is right, then the ending should be right around the corner."

Truly, I could only rely on my guesses. After all, it is only proper to wait for the hero to save the heroine, not the other way around. Well, according to pop culture, anyway.

* * *

><p>And my guess was right. As it turned out, Koyomi had invited me to this "Flower Banquet," hosted by none other than the same shady guy who acquired all of Aoyama's holdings. He said he had something important to tell me. And furthermore, I found this in a handwritten letter that mom passed to me, because I was too lazy to check the mail box myself. Hell, for a tsundere, he's pretty direct.<p>

His handwriting was very neat, by the way.

"Yep, I can see the ending."

* * *

><p>Oh, right. Payday. I tracked back to go to Seihai (name subject to change), got my SATSTABAAAA~ and the bonus pack of vegetables. Now to get some mayonnaise.<p>

I'm actually really lucky that I chose Sunday as my off day. I mean, I'd hate to be the one to have to scream "EKISUUUUUKARIIIIBAAAAAAA!"

* * *

><p><strong>Capture In-Progress: Day 8<strong>

Tuesday. As always, I arrived fashionably late. Oh, and I made sure Elsee didn't go overboard with the dress.

I was wearing a spaghetti strapped blue silk dress with some ruffles at the bottom, along with a flower accessory attached to one of the creases. I didn't wear sandals with heels since they hurt, and I forgot to put my glasses back on in the rush to get prepared. I didn't bring my PFP since it would ruin the mood for sure.

See? The getup was so simple it took me only one paragraph to describe it, and it's not even a long paragraph.

"Good evening, Ko-chan."

From his expression, I knew he liked what he saw.

"G-good evening, Katsuragi-san."

Well, he wasn't looking too shabby for a denizen of the real himself. Still…

"Wow, this garden sure is big. And that mansion… it's like a scene straight out of a manga."

"I don't use manga as a reference material myself, but if you say so, I guess I don't have any reason to believe otherwise."

I walked towards the ornately decorated fountain, where Aoyama Koyomi had been patiently awaiting my arrival. "I'm sorry I'm late. Did I keep you waiting long?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Not really. I just got here myself." At least he read up on some date etiquette. I happen to know that he'd been sitting there for nearly an hour, though. How? Woman's intuition, maybe. It has absolutely nothing to do with the tracker Elsee had failed to retrieve, though. Really.

"Ah, thank goodness. I wasn't too much of a burden," I said, and then curtsied. "So, young master, shall I escort you to the dance hall?"

"That won't be necessary, Katsuragi-san. As I said, I came here to tell you something important. But first…"

He extended a hand with inviting eyes.

"Care to give me this dance, fair lady?"

Despite myself, I blushed. Oh ho, this guy knew his stuff. Then again, I should have known he would. After all, he'd probably been going to these kinds of things before learning to talk.

It was my turn to be sheepish.

"Um, actually, I've never had the chance to learn how to dance, so…"

"Oh, it's fine. I can teach you on the spot. You can learn it in one minute, right?"

"Don't ask the impossible."

I reach out to take his hand, but…

"Hey, what's the problem? Come on."

He took my hands in his. My face probably looked like a beet now. _Why does contact with other people feel so awkward?_ I didn't reply, and he smirked.

"Come on, you said you wanted to get to know me better, right? And we're supposed to hold each other while dancing."

"O-okay… but let's keep it like this and save the closed ballroom position for later."

"Sure thing, O-hi-me-sa-ma."

How the heck did my face get redder? Was that even humanly possible? Hey, no fair. I mean, I was supposed to be the assertive one in the relationship, but why am I so flustered all of the sudden? Oh well. Let's just learn this dance quick and get it over with.

Oh, he smirked! He smirked! Why is he not flustered by this? Man, just when I thought he wasn't a gigolo… I take back my thoughts of him being a kind, upstanding citizen.

He started to move, and I tried my best to follow.

"Up, Left, Down, Down, L, R…"

"Wow, you're a fast learner, Katsuragi-san. I wish I was like you. If that was the case, then…"

"Huh?" I sedated our pace slightly to allow him to talk.

"Katsuragi-san, do you remember what I wrote in the letter?"

"Of course. You told me to come here, even specifying to only come to the garden, and you said you had something of overt importance to tell me."

"That's right. You have a splendid memory as well." Well yeah, I need it to memorize choices and flags. Still, a compliment is a compliment.

"Thank you," I responded, slightly abashedly.

"What I have to tell you is… stop following me."

I stopped. He stopped. We broke from the butterfly position which, to note, I hadn't even noticed we'd taken.

"Huh?"

"Stop helping me. Stop being curious about me. Stop trying to find out more about me."

"Why?"

"Stop being so nice. Stop making me look at you."

"Wha-"

"Stop making me love you."

"…"

"The other day, that call I got, it was from one of mom's workmates. She had lost consciousness from fatigue, and almost fell off the machine. The only thing that saved her was the electric wirings, and the only thing that saved her from being electrocuted was the fact that she touched the only live wire with her leather belt. They say she's really lucky to be alive."

"…I-I don't mean to be rude, but what does that-"

"I'm getting to it. The thing is… it's my fault that she started working extra hours, and when that wasn't enough, she even started contracting odd jobs. That all started when she found out that I wasn't telling anybody in school about our predicament.

"And the reason why I kept acting like I was still part of this? This dream that only those with money have access to? Why I kept stepping on others as though they were inconsequential? Pride. I didn't want to be looked down upon, so I kept at it. I was too comfortable on the top that I didn't want to stoop down, to level with the commoners.

"But then, you came and taught me otherwise. At first I thought I was done for, because you would surely spread the rumors, but your words hit me very hard. 'I wanted to talk to you.' I don't know why you went about it in such a roundabout way, but at the time, I'd probably have ignored you otherwise. You came and showed me that there are people like you, people who don't care about such minor issues. Well, it might be true that you could just be unique, and that you might have your own reasons, but the fact is, I know that there are people like that, and I don't have any reason to doubt what you told me that day.

"Thanks to that, and to what happened to my mother, I have decided to stop acting. It's the least I could do. So please, stop helping me."

Is it done? Why are my thoughts so mixed up during such a critical event? Ah, right. Respond.

"Um, uh, that's great."

"No, wait, I'm not done yet. If I stop now, I might not be able to find the courage to continue. With that said, I would actually like to make the effort to get close and not the other way around."

Eh? Jeez, being confessed to in real life was a lot more flustering than I thought. Yuma wasn't this direct with things, despite his direct nature, so this is technically the first time I'm being confessed to. Speaking of which, again, I though tsunderes weren't usually this direct?

"So, uh…"

"Keiko-san, you still owe me one thing from our penalty game, right? Just grant me this one thing. I don't mind if you reject my existence later, but… For now…"

Shit, he called me Keiko. I think I'm starting to _see_ red.

"Huh? I-"

My legs were wobbly.

"Please close your eyes."

"Do- what?"

I think all my blood is up north now.

"Please close your eyes."

Ah, to hell with it. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what I knew was coming. I'd experienced this lots and lots of times, but this felt like a first, justifiably so.

I heard footsteps. I felt a gentle hand on my back. I received a kiss.

_So this is what it's like… to be captured… in the real…_

I felt a rush of wind. The runaway spirit was leaving its host.

We both fainted for completely different reasons.

* * *

><p><strong>The next day<strong>

Elsee, as untrustworthy as she was, was able to clean up after my mess quite effectively, and without any incident. She had dropped Yomi by his apartment, and took me home. Ah, I give her too little credit for these things. She's still an idiot, though, that's for sure.

"_Kuro-san, stay back! That's dangerous!_"

As for me? Well, I'm back to gaming while we look for the next one. I sincerely hope that's not anytime soon, though.

Still, I couldn't shake off the feeling that what we've achieved at the time was but a small fraction of what we would in the future, and that feeling sucked, because it gave me the premonition that I'd be doing this a lot more in the future.

As for the when…

"DORO-DORO-DORO-DORO-DORO-"

I didn't expect it to come this soon.

"Hey, look! It's Kanon-chan!"

"Kanon-chan! You look so cute!"

"Moe-kyuuun! Kanon-chama!"

I turned to my left, eye twitching as I looked at the pink-haired girl that was passing me by.

"Hi everybody! Thanks for always supporting me!"

I stopped.

"Elsee, don't tell me…"

"Uwaaah! It's Kanon-chan! Kami-sama, it's Kanon-chan! Kanon-chan!"

She shook me by the arm. She was a fan of this person? I didn't even know who she was… Well, of course I didn't; it's not like she appears as a protagonist in a dating game. I had a much more important question to ask. If there was a trend between the spirits I've seen until now, it's that they pick very conspicuous people.

And this girl's conspicuousness was off the charts.

"DORO-DORO-DORO-DORO-DORO-"

And apparently, Elsee still hadn't noticed her detector.

"Elsee, there's a loose soul nearby. Could you check which person it's residing in?"

"O-oh. Now that you mentioned it…"

She pressed the accessory's eye, and the annoying alarm stopped playing. She was probably already scanning.

I heard a gasp. Oh boy, my guess was right.

"I-it's in Kanon-chan! The loose soul is inside Kanon-chan!"

_Oh, you have got to be kidding me._

* * *

><p>Oh, you did not see that coming. Sorry if it sucked, and leave a review. I'm not gonna bother with excuses since they'll suck, and they won't really make this chapter go out earlier. Ah, enough ranting. I'll just go ahead and drop this into the wild for the heck of it. Review, 'kay?<p>

I'm in a hurry and can't be bothered for translations, explanations and pointing out shout-outs, so as Luka says, go Google it.

Again, a big thanks to **AKAAkira** for beta reading this chapter. His insights were a great help for me. A big round of applause, people.

That aside, did you enjoy it? I feel like you might not, but hopefully you do.

Review and stuff, blah blah blah.

EDIT: Since you guys deserve better Author's notes, and because I now have time.

The weiss explanation was supposed to be longer, but I cut it short since lengthening it would be unrealistic for the scene. In a nutshell, the weiss realized they were being stupid because the method they chose would take too long, and they decided to be more indiscriminate in picking targets. I didn't think Elsee was smart enough to figure this out, though. With this, you could say this is an AU, but hey, the protagonist is a girl; it was an AU to begin with. If you thought it wasn't, then... no, I will not insult my readers. Ahahaha~

About Keiko's response to Elsee's statements, in the early part, I'm trying to show that Keiko is unconsciously a feminist. Don't know why? Read it again with that in mind and you'll get it.

The _ waga_ in Morita's _waga aru__ji_ means "my" or "our." Anyways, it refers to the self, like _watashi _(though that usually means "I") or _jibun _(this is a better synonym, but it can also mean "your" or "their"). _Aruji_ is master/lord, though I'd laugh at you if you didn't understand that by context. _Sama _is a suffix, appended only to show respect. Thus, _Waga aruji-sama_ means "my lord." Oh, this is a shout-out too; it was originally said by a blonde vampire.

_Satstaba _can be roughly translated to "wad of banknotes." Okay, so the proper romaji spelling is _satsutaba _(札束), but placing _satstaba_ lets those who aren't too familiar with kana read it right. This is also a reference to something. I love you if you know.

Speaking of shout-outs, I made sure to put blatant ones (I hate you if you didn't find the ones that cited Pokemon and Final Fantasy), and some obscure and barely noticeable ones (I love you if you find the Velvet Room reference).

I really hate using time-skips, but I had to spam that here, and if our feelings about it are mutual, then I profusely apologize. It wasn't to my best intentions, but they were needed if I was to avoid drawing this out too long. Speaking of drawing something out long enough, Keiko exceeded a week (by a day). Hahaha~ she sucks, doesn't she.

Next, let me get this straight. Keiko is _not_ Keima, in every sense of the word. Well duh, she's a girl.

Now for educated guessing. Who else thinks that Elsee's big sister is Rimyuel aka Akari Kurakawa? I mean, come on. Why would Wakaki-sensei go through the trouble to put Elsee on a two-way bus during the capture if it wasn't an important plot point? Though it could alse be a trick and her sister is a completely different character.

Lastly, I have realized that while I write something in a Japanese setting, I have injected lots of "west" in it... if you know what I mean. Ahaha. Anyways, that's partly due to my struggle to give it that "localized" feel, while also giving it a "translated" nature. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go buy translated light novels and manga from the official distributors or something. Please don't kill me if you get annoyed by it.

Oh, right. Koyomi is a girl's name. I hope you didn't give it too much thought, though.

/TCG #


End file.
